Tears burn in my eyes, but I softly say, “Okay.” I sniffle and move to stand. “I’m sorry, East.”
“Me too,” he croaks, and I leave him there alone in the dark in a bad place sensing so much distance between us all I want is to cry. I’m so confused. He’s East. My Easton. Maybe my hormones are making me crazy because Darin and I haven’t…but I don’t get those same emotions I experience for East when I look at Darin. Those all consuming thoughts.
Desire.
A craving to be his.
I want to belong to Easton Reed.
Back in my room I lay there tossing and turning. I can’t sleep. I keep picturing East touching himself. His fist wrapped around his erection. Shame washes over me, but I can’t stop picturing what could have happened between us if he hadn’t pushed me away.
I hear the front door open and East talking to a woman. Jealousy grips me and I want to scream. Lynn’s here. I thought they had broken up. She’s the woman East has been seeing off and on again. I guess they are still on. I’m a fool. So stupid. Why did I think he’d want me?
Her laughter echoes through the house.
Once I hear them go upstairs my tears fall harder. My tears soak through my pillowcase. I can hear him through the vent in my ceiling. Touching her. Doing all the things I wish he’d do to me.
“You like that? Like when I give you my big cock.”
“Harder. Go faster. Like that. Oh, yes. Fuck me, East.”
All the things that I will never experience outside of my wildest fantasies plays out above my room. I know it’s wrong to want him. To crave him so deeply that he is all I can think about day in and day out. Easton Reed was never meant to be mine, but I claimed him when I was just a girl and he was already a man. He has always been home to me. My safe space. Where I could run to when life got too tough. Too hard and dark. He was my protector. He was and is my everything, but to him I’m a silly girl. Except I’m no little girl. I’m all grown up now. Ready and willing to do whatever it takes to be his Lady.
I close my eyes and pop my earbuds in, turning the volume up on my playlist as loud as it will go to drown the sounds of him screwing her brains out.
**
The next morning, I find him in the kitchen nursing a coffee. Dressed in a black long sleeve Harley Davidson tee and dark jeans he’s all broody and mad at the world. Jaw tight, gripping his mug so tight his knuckles are white. Lynn’s gone. I guess she came over for a booty call. I want to hate her for being with him. For getting to kiss him and touch him any way she wants. Part of me hates him right now too for bringing her here and taking her to bed. For turning me away. For denying me of what I want most in this world.
“I called your mom.” Did he tell her? My palms begin to sweat and my stomach flipflops. Panic floods me and fear grips me. “Told her I have to ride out on a run for the club. I’m dropping you at home. I can’t…I’ll always be here for you, Wylla Mae, but I’ll never put us in that awkward position again. You’re a kid. I’m the adult. I can’t go acting on feelings that neither of us understand. It’s not appropriate and what you saw…I’m sorry for that. I just can’t be around you right now and it’s nothing you did. It’s all me. I accept responsibility for that. But I gotta remove us both from this situation. Pack your bag and I’ll drive you home.”
“East.” I move toward him knowing my world is cracking in two along with my heart. Moisture gathers in the creases of my eyes.
“Don’t come any closer, Lil’ Lady.”
“I’m not little. I’m sixteen. It’s the age of—”
His hand flies up. “Stop. Don’t be saying shit like that. Go pack your things.”
“Fine. You’re a coward.” I don’t know why I am saying these things or pushing him, but I know what I feel in my heart. I love him. I’ve always loved him.
He shoves past me, his shoulder bumping into mine and electricity passes through my body at the connection. He stomps to my room, and I hear drawers opening and slamming shut. He is packing everything I ever left here. I stand in the doorway watching, hot heavy tears sliding down my cheeks.
Fifteen minutes later everything, all my belongings, all my memories of East are packed into a box and taped shut like I never existed in his world. He drops me at my doorstep and sits the box on the porch.
“Call me if you need me, but only if it’s an emergency. I’m sorry.”
“East,” his name cracks on my tongue tasting bitter like burnt toast. “Can you check the house for me. I’d feel safer.” My words sound as hollow as my heart feels.
“Yeah. Sure. I can do that.”
I follow him in and plop down on the couch fighting my tears.
I hear him move through the house and he stops at the front door after doing his sweep. “Just keep the doors locked. Hell, invite Darin over,” he says as though that will make any of this okay.
I’ve ruined us. I’ve lost the one person I love most in this world because I was being stupid, but I can’t fight the emotions the man awakens inside me. The attraction that lingers under the surface begging to be set free. My fingers twitch, longing to touch him. I suck in a deep breath wishing to smell his intoxicating scent. I’m addicted to Easton Reed. I’m completely fucked in the head over this man.
I run to him and barrel into his side before he can stop me. Wrapping my arms around his middle I breathe him in. The smell of smoke and leather. “I’m sorry, East.” I stare up into his darkened eyes. “Please don’t hate me.” Confusion swirls in my chest. I know I shouldn’t want him.