What if I had given her my number?
She might have waited for me and already been mine right now.
What if I want her to be mine?
What if I did pursue Audrey?
Would it be out of line?
Would it be wrong of me to step into Joe Jr’s shoes and honor his memory and take care of the woman he loved so much?
I’m a terrible person and an even shittier brother for even considering entertaining the thoughts.
I can’t help it though. Part of me wants to be the good son for once. The guy who gets the girl too.
Maybe it won’t be with Audrey, but I do want that picture Ma painted more than I thought.
Chapter 11
Natalie
My brother left me on my own to clean up. Figures. He was never one for cleaning up messes. Everyone has finally cleared out except for Trey. He’s lingering in the living room talking to my dad. I shake my head, continuing with rinsing the plates, and shoving them into the dishwasher. Ma had to use the good china, unlike normal people who use paper or Styrofoam plates when they host a big outdoor party.
I hear my parents laughing, but I can’t hear what they are chatting about with Trey. I don’t know why I care. Trey made my place in his life known loud and clear with his actions, or lack of I should say.
“Thanks for staying and cleaning up, baby.” Ma kisses my temple and squeezes my shoulders.
“Of course,” I say with a yawn, feeling emotionally exhausted. If I don’t do it who will? I know she’s tired too.
“I’m turning in. You and Trey can get the tables and chairs folded. He said he’s glad to help out.”
Oh perfect.
“You staying over or going home after?”
“I’m going home. I open tomorrow,” I lie. I am ready to be away from Trey. He’s in the next room and his presence is smothering me.
Dad and Trey join us as Ma rattles on about leaving the pots for tomorrow.
“Nate and I can do the tables and chairs in the morning, don’t worry about them. You still have a key to Nate’s apartment, don’t you? Trey is going to run some of the boxes from the garage over for us while he’s here with his truck.”
I nod as I put the last plate in. Dad kisses me goodnight, then him and Ma make their way upstairs leaving me on my own with Trey, and those damn grey eyes. He takes a step toward me. “Bunny, I know sorry doesn’t begin to cover my taking off like I did, but...”
“Where were you?” I smack his chest.
“My deployment got moved up and I had to go. I didn’t have a choice, baby.” He steps into me and pulls me close. My eyes bug out as he leans in close to me. What’s he doing? Is he going to kiss me? “Natalie, I love you. I’ve always loved you. But I got scared. I didn’t think it was fair to ask you to wait for me. What if I didn’t come home? In my mind it was the right thing to cut off contact. I couldn’t put you through the worry. I made a lot of mistakes, but my biggest one was running away from my feelings for you. I will never be good enough for you, but I am asking for a chance to try.”
I can’t help it when I look into those eyes that hold my soul, I get angry. He has some damn nerve. I smack him and start to cry. He grips my waist, clinging to my hips. “Please. Bunny, I’m sorry.”
I shake my head. I can’t do this with him right now. He has some damn nerve.
“When did you come home?” I ask wondering if he’s been home longer than he has led me to believe.
“I was in Germany for a while.” He swallows hard. “But I came home a few months ago after my divorce,” he confesses. He was married? What the serious fuck? No one ever thought to tell me this shit? I can feel angry vibrations starting to rattle through my body. “I took a new job in Monroe at a new mechanic shop. I had to get myself together for my son. He needed a father and I had to do what was needed to be there for him.”
I try to pull away. Not wanting to hear anymore. Trey not only got married to someone they had a child together. I feel sick. Hurt. Betrayed.
“Please, listen to me. I was dumb. I met Yvonne in Germany. She was an American studying abroad. I was lonely over there and there she was at the time. I was caught up in the moment, having fun and made a mistake. She contacted me six months later and told me she was pregnant. I did what I thought was the right thing. I found out the morning after we slept together. I was so confused. I didn’t want to hurt you, but…I did. I was scared. I called Joe JR and he told me to do the right thing. You deserved a good man, not some guy with nothing to offer but a kid on the way. It was Joe JR that made me see sense. He knew how I felt about you and he wouldn’t give me his blessing, until I got my shit straight. He made me promise I wouldn’t contact you until I was ready to give you the world. I fucked up but I’m here to right my wrongs, Nattie.”