Chapter 1
—Tina
“Yo, Tina. You home?” Matt calls out, the door to our apartment closing behind him.
“In here.” I smirk to myself and light the final candle before crawling onto the center of his bed. The bedroom glows from the tealight candles I have placed around the room to set the mood. Tonight’s the night. I’m done waiting. On my knees in the red lace teddy I wait for him to come find me.
The knob twists and the door pushes open. He stops just short of flicking the light on when he notices me. Rubbing a hand through his hair his jaw ticks. “What the hell are you doing?”
I smile at him and flutter my lashes. “Waiting for you? I’ve been saving this for a special occasion, and I thought tonight seems special. It’s the anniversary of the first time you asked me to be your girlfriend.”
“Put some clothes on.” He covers his face and backs out of the room. “My parents will be here soon to take us to dinner.”
“So cancel. I don’t want to go to dinner. I want to be with you, Matt.” I crawl to the foot of the bed and follow him out to the hallway of our apartment. Touching his shoulders, I hug him from behind. “Don’t you want to be with me?”
“Of course I do,” he snaps and pulls away. “You know how I feel about this though. You said you understood.”
“I was in high school when we made that promise. I’m a woman now, and I want you to touch me. You can’t even look at me. Matty?”
A heavy sigh leaves his lips. Turning around he grips my shoulders with his firm hands. “I love you, but I’m not going to change my mind.”
My bottom lip trembles. “I can’t keep on like this.” I place my hand over his and slide our hands down my chest. “I want passion. To be wanted. Don’t you feel anything right now?” On my tiptoes, I press my lips to his. Matt’s lips move against mine but there is no feeling to the kiss. No burning desire. I pull back. “If it’s like this now…” A tear slides down my cheek. “It’s not going to get better.”
“I want you, Tina, just not like this.” He fingers the strap of my lingerie, and it snaps against my skin. “You’re worth waiting for. I thought you believed the same for me.”
I swallow the bile down that’s creeping up my throat. “I want more than sleeping in the room across the hall from you. That’s not going to change. We’re going to get married. There is nothing stopping us but you.”
A knock sounds at the door.
“Go get dressed for dinner.”
“No. You go. Tell them I had to work over.” The last thing I want to do right now is go to dinner with his parents.
“You sure?”
“Yup,” I croak. “We can talk when you get back.” Only when he gets back…I won’t be here. I can’t keep pretending things between us are okay. They aren’t. Far from it. He starts toward the door, and I slip into my bedroom, tears rolling down my cheeks. I’ve been with Matt since we were kids. We’re adults now. We live together, and he can’t even do more than kiss me. I thought I was okay with waiting, but I’m not.
I don’t want to keep doing this—waiting for him to truly notice me. Somedays I wonder if he even loves me or if we have stayed together this long out of habit. Swiping my fingers under my eyes, I pull my luggage out from the closet. Ending a relationship that has lasted more than half my life should hurt more than this, shouldn’t it? I thought I’d feel devastated, but I feel…relief. Freedom.
I change into something comfy and pack my belongings. Tonight I can stay at the hotel where I work at. Tomorrow I will figure out where I go from there. I just know that wherever I go it will be somewhere Matt isn’t. Before I leave, I slide the engagement ring from my finger and place it on his dresser next to his deodorant along with a note telling him I can no longer keep doing this. I can’t pretend to be happy when I am anything but.
**
Opening the door to the bakery where Camreigh is working. The bell rings signaling my entrance. Camreigh’s gaze snaps to mine and she squeals. My bestie rushes from behind the counter and hugs my neck. “What are you doing here?
“I missed my best friend. You moved an hour away. I can’t see you every day like I used to.” It’s not a lie. Since Camreigh moved to Drag Creek I never see her.
“Want a cupcake?” She grins and motions to the display case.
“Duh. I want one with chocolate frosting.”