Going on tour with Cooper’s Religion is the chance of a lifetime. Watching my best friend get her happily ever after, when I lost mine is hard. I’m not ready to love but Vance doesn’t care. He wants me, all of me. The broken pieces too. There’s a problem though. His best friend loves me too. I want them both even though I shouldn’t. But the heart wants what it wants, and I can’t choose. I have to decide soon or I'm going to tear apart their lives and possibly their careers. This could be the beginning of something beautiful or the end of a tragic love affair.
Resuscitation means to revive. Revive derived from the Latin language, meaning to live again. This is the Resuscitation of Penny.
Chapter 1
Four months ago, today my world was shattered. My heart and my soul have been ripped away from me in the nasty cycle of life. In this life, we are born and then we die, but if we are lucky, we get to love in between the two. I was in love, or at least I thought it was love, but now I’m not so sure what it means to love—his name was Bradly. He was a soldier…he was my soldier. And now he’s dead and I am left here to carry on going through the motions until I die too.
Today was supposed to be my wedding day. Happiest day of a girl’s life, right? I’m standing in front of my full-length mirror that hangs on the back of my closet door, spinning around in my wedding gown, watching the silk swish at the bottom, in a mermaid tail.
Taking another drink from my bottle of champagne—a gift from Bradly that arrived today, I wipe away my tears. He’d already ordered it for me. That was Bradly, always planning ahead. He knew that I would be so nervous today. That’s what his note says.
Penny,
My pretty Penny, I know you are nervous and scared, but I don’t want you to be afraid. I want you to be brave like me. All through my time in combat, I was able to stay brave. All I had to do was picture you coming down the aisle to me. I knew what I was fighting for. I was fighting for this crazy blonde-haired girl who has a smile brighter than all the stars in the sky. I can’t wait to make you my wife today. So, sip on this champagne, calm your nerves, and hurry down the aisle, so I can make you mine.
All my love,
Bradly
I sip my champagne and I spin while wishing I were with him…wherever he is, in heaven or hell. Either has to be better than this feeling of nothingness. My phone keeps vibrating. I know it’s Katie. She’s trying to get me to come on tour with Cooper’s Religion. She thinks it will fix me. I told her I’m not broken I am just bent. I’ll be fine, someday…
Katie is my best friend. She’s in LA, right now with her rock star boyfriend—Kai Cooper, lead singer of the rock band Cooper’s Religion. His band is getting ready to leave for their second tour. Katie thinks making me tag along by her side while she travels the world with Kai will heal me.
Nothing can change the way I feel inside. Not even going on the road with one of the hottest rocks bands in the nation. The guys were discovered near the end of mine, Katie, and Kai’s senior year. They were signed immediately and shot to the top of the charts. I always tell Katie she has all the luck.
I mean, she has her ROCK GOD, PANTY-MELTING boyfriend, Kai Motherfucking Cooper and I have champagne from a dead guy.
This champagne isn’t doing anything for me. Dumping my purse out on my bed, I pilfer through my belongings looking for the pills my doctor gave me for anxiety. I pop the tiny blue pill and take another swig from the bottle. It tastes like acid on my tongue. Twirling again, I throw the bottle at the mirror shattering the glass. My jagged reflection stares back at me. Bloodshot eyes, smeared lipstick, hair that looks like I’ve been fucked…yeah right.
I look hideous.
I look like my best friend’s mother.
Katie’s mom, Nancy, is an alcoholic prostitute.
Maybe a bath would remedy this tragedy that is my appearance. Bradly would want me to look beautiful today.
Filling the tub, I get in gown and all. I spilled some champagne on it, might as well soak it too. The warm water is soothing, feels nice against my skin. I lay here waiting for the pain that never comes. I wish I could have the breakdown that everyone keeps waiting for, so then ma
ybe I could get over this…numbness. I can’t allow myself to feel anything about Bradly other than guilt and shame, so I choose to feel nothing at all.
My water has grown cold. I twist the faucet back on with my toes. My eyes are heavy, and I feel tired. My phone is buzzing but I don’t want to get out of this tub. I’ll only rest my eyes for a moment. The water is up close to my neck now and I feel warm and comfortable. My dress feels really heavy now. Sighing aloud, I stand up in the tub to try to slide the damn thing off. One foot is tangled in the fabric while the other goes sliding across the bottom of the tub. My head smacks against the side of the fiberglass as I try to break my fall with my arm. I hear a loud thwack as the water turns red. I rub my hand across my temple and the sight of the red blood stuck to my fingers makes me sick. I think I cut my head. My mind flashes to the gory images I have conjured of Bradly’s death. Sliding back down in the water as it flows over the tub my eyes close and the world goes black and cold.
~**~
“Penny.” I can hear my name being shouted as something thumps hard against my chest. “Breathe!”
Thump, thump.
I think my chest is caving in and my head hurts.
A vison of myself in my wedding gown swirls in my head. I see my fiancé in his uniform holding his hand out to me. Bradly. My chest hurts.
Thump.
Thump.
My throat is burning.