Maybe I should have brought Stewart along. He probably would have loved this. I don’t want to give him the wrong impression though. I like having him around, and I don’t want to lose his friendship.
Butterflies flutter in my stomach. Taking a deep breath, I get out of the car. As we walk through the sea of tour busses, we are catcalled by a few roadies, and it gives my confidence a much needed boost.
Penny gets us cleared through security, and I walk with her so she can check in, and I can find out where she will be posted.
It turns out Penny will actually get to stay with me. They just want her passing out flyers for the Speedway while we walk around and check out the different bands.
I wonder who is playing. It has been so long since I have allowed myself to enjoy music. I avoid always it …afraid I will hear his band. Afraid I will hear the voice that owns me completely.
‘Want you so bad, Kat.’
Five words that I long to hear from his dimpled mouth…my heart aches and my chest is tight, and I cannot breathe remembering his face.
Why did I agree to this? Penny…right. She looks over and sees the panicked expression on my face.
“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”
I gulp gasping for air and I nod.
“You’ll be fine. I promise. Katie, this will be good for you, okay?” She is looking at me with sympathy, and I hate feeling this way.
“I feel stupid. I don’t know why something as simple as going to a concert has to be so hard, Penny?” I must be the worst best friend, ever. She can’t take me anywhere.
“Because you love him, Katie. You always will.” She smiles weakly and fluffs my hair.
“That’s what scares me, Penny. What if I never get over him? What if I go my whole life missing him?” What if this is it…my life…spent wanting him…and never having him.
“Who says you have to, Katie?” She grabs my hand and leads me into the ever-growing crowd.
We make it to the first stage. Some band I have never heard of is playing, and I find myself relaxing and enjoying their grunge sound.
Penny has to go grab more flyers, so I wander to the second stage. I am minding my own, getting into the music. I even find myself joining in on some of the chorus. A strong hand taps my shoulder and a familiar voice calls out my name, “Katie?” I cringe inwardly but put on a brave face.
“Stewart. What are you doing here?”
“Wow, I wasn’t sure if it was really you…you look amazing. You mentioned a concert, and then I heard about this on the radio, so I thought I would check it out.” His eyes rake over my body, and I see a longing in his eyes that I never noticed before.
“Thanks. I’m actually glad you are here. I think Penny might have ditched me.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and we walk around and check out the third stage and some of the booths.
I feel a lot more relaxed, and I am having a great time. It is exhilarating to enjoy music again. I check my phone to see if I have any missed messages from Penny, but I don’t, so I continue to walk around with Stewart. We grab a bite to eat, sharing some nachos from one of the vendors.
I finally spot Penny near one of the gates when Stewart has to take a call.
“There you are. I was beginning to think you were hiding from me.”
She shrugs and smiles awkwardly.
Stewart comes back from his phone call and Penny’s face falls when she sees him. If I didn’t know better, I would say Penny is acting sneaky.
“Stewart, what a nice surprise,” she lies quickly.
I give her the eye and she pretends not to notice the way I
am looking at her.
Stewart checks his watch. “Hey, mind if we go toward the main stage one of my favorite bands are getting ready to go on?”