I’m sort of dressed. I’m wearing a tracksuit. But it’s old and raggedy and I probably look like lukewarm garbage with no makeup on and hair that I’ve done nothing with today.
“Where’s Violet’s glass?” she asks as Killian hands her a glass of red.
Killian’s eyes bounce to me, and his eyebrows bounce up.
“I’m not drinking,” I say quickly.
“Why not? It’s after five.”
“I’m …”
Her eyebrows go up and her eyes bounce to the coffee table where there’s a three quarters empty milk glass and then her eyes light up.
“Pregnant?” she asks.
“Pregnant,” I breathe.
It takes about a millisecond before she squeals and throws her arms around me again.
Killian’s face lights up as he takes in me being squished in my bestie’s embrace.
“There was a scare last night, so I’m taking it easy though,” I add. “It’s early and nobody knows yet. Nobody at all but the people in this room. And my bitchy boss, but that’s another story.”
She lets go of me, concern flooding her face. “A scare? Okay, start at the beginning. You… congrats. But go.” She waves at him and his shoulders jiggle with amusement.
“I’ll go work for a bit in the other room.” He leans over and kisses my forehead.
I say nothing.
Susanna gets to her feet and throws her arms around him once he’s straightened back up.
“Congrats,” she says. “You’re gonna be one helluva DILF.”
“Thanks, I think,” he says. “I’m gonna go phone my brother and give him the good news. Then we should tell your folks, baby.”
I let out a nervous laugh. My folks. God, I feel overwhelmed right now. If they were on Killian’s side yesterday, I can’t imagine how much more support they’ll give him. My mom will be over the moon.
“N-no. Not yet,” I whisper.
He gives me a long stare and then turns and goes.
“God, he smells good,” Susanna muses, fanning herself while sitting back down.
I do my best to hold myself together as Susanna sips her wine and watches him leave before she turns her eyes to me. “Are you guys figuring things out then? What’s been going on?”
I shake my head. “My head’s all over the place.”
“But you’re happy about the pregnancy?”
“I’m… cautious,” I say.
“What’s the scare? Cramping? Bleeding?”
“Bleeding. But just a little and we went to the hospital, and they said everything’s looking okay. It’s probably implantation bleeding, which I didn’t know was a thing, but in case it’s not, I should rest for a bit and watch my symptoms.”
“Nothing like the risk of losing it to make you realize you want it, right? I’m guessing the pregnancy is what put you two on the outs this past week?”
“It’s a long story, Suse.”
“I got time.”
“I’m just… ugh.” I put my palms to my cheeks.
“It’s too bad I can’t ply you with wine until you share. So guess what? I’m gonna ply me with wine until you share.” She tips her glass in my direction and takes another sip.
“You know what I think?” she asks and slaps my knee. “I think you’ve been through a shit-ton in a short amount of time and you need to just pause,” she pushes her palm toward me, “breathe,” she pulls her hand down, fingertips against her thumbs in a meditative gesture, “and take a day at a time.” She puts her wineglass down and grasps both my hands. “You’ve been through a lot. A lot, a lot. And marriage is said to be hard. Not that I know, but it’s an adjustment, right? The fact is, you didn’t get a lot of time to heal from DeathRay and that doesn’t mean you got married to Killer too fast, the man is the catch of the century and you should not have passed that up, but you’re probably coming to delayed reaction terms with healing from the jerk-face and you can’t let it get in the way of your happiness with your dreamboat. Have you considered counseling?”
“For the love of all that’s holy, please don’t call him Killer. And have you been talking to my mom?”
“Honestly, yes.”
I snicker.
“It’s because we care. What’s the latest with DeathRay, anyway? Any news?”
“Please. Don’t even ask,” I say.
She shrugs. “Enough said. Damn, your husband has good taste in wine.” She sips more wine. “And women. I caught sight of his ex downstairs.”
My back goes straight.
Jessa. Right.
Susanna leans in. “A bombshell dressed in a sexy Christmas elf outfit with a gift in her hands. I don’t think that box was the only thing she wanted to give your husband, by the by, if you get what I’m sayin’. Her... box.” She makes an extreme facial expression with her eyes bugged out. “But I walked in, and she was pouting and he was very obviously giving her the brush off before he even spotted me.”
I blow out a breath.
“He saw me and immediately brought me up,” she adds.