River freezes.
I can’t read a thing from his features except shock.
Complete and absolute shock.
In fact, everyone is wearing the same goddamn expression.
And holy hell, that felt freeing. Like an elephant floated off my shoulders holding just the string of a balloon.
I push back my chair, catch my breath, then point to the door, putting my PR voice back on. I’m cool and calm as I scratch the back of my neck like that was no big deal. “I think I’m just going to get some air. But hey. Those were some great mashed potatoes.”
And just like that, I leave.
22
River
Tobey thrusts his arms in the air. “Called it! I was right. Like a Navy Seal. Like a badass vet.”
Nisha slaps a hand over her cousin’s mouth. “This is not about being right.”
TJ just smiles, watching the front door snap closed, like he’s proud of his friend.
Everyone else appears fascinated with their food.
I don’t move because I’ve never felt like this before. Warmth floods my body, fills all my cells. It’s like I’ve drunk a happiness potion and I’m glowing.
I’m just so damn joyful I’m not even sure I know how to speak, to move, to live.
Except, even though I feel great, Owen probably feels terrible.
He has no clue I’m floating on Cloud Nine.
No idea he said everything I’m feeling.
And just like that, I unfreeze.
I lift a finger, consider saying something clever, but all that comes out is, “Excuse me.”
I head to the front door, yank it open, walk down the steps that have been swept free of last night’s snow, and into the frigid night.
Holy igloo.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I rub my palms on my biceps, my gaze swinging left and right, hunting for the man who just professed his love for me.
Only he’s nowhere to be seen.
What the what?
I rush down the stone path to the sidewalk. It’s been shoveled, and some of the snow has melted, but there are still a few inches, and Owen clearly has polar bear blood.
I sweep my gaze to the left, and the street is empty. The night is quiet. Stars wink on and off above in the dark blanket of the sky. I turn right to the corner and there he is.
Walking back to the house.
My heart goes haywire, thumping madly in my chest. And the cold melts away as buzzy, warm tingles slide down my spine.
“Owen Hayes, do not walk away from me after that,” I call out, going full bossy mode. “Get over here now.”
Owen closes the distance, stopping a foot in front of me. His eyes are wild. He’s breathing hard, but I doubt it’s from the short walk. “I wasn’t walking away. I needed air. I needed to breathe. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry if I ruined dinner or this trip or our friendship. I’m sorry if I fucked up the pact,” he says, giving me no space to speak because he’s back on the same roll he started at the table. “But I’m not at all sorry about how I feel. And I’m tired of being scared of telling you. I’m tired of keeping this to myself, River. I just love you, and I’m in love with you, and I want you to let me love you, and last night was absolutely incredible,” he says, his voice trembling with emotion, his eyes brimming with vulnerability. “And I don’t want to lose you as a friend, and I know we made a pact, but I don’t think I can survive another second of feeling this way for you without telling you.” He stops, takes a breath, then shrugs helplessly, holds out his hands. “I’m so in love with you. And I want you to be my friend, and my lover, and my boyfriend. You’re the one man I want to be good to, and I really hope you’ll let me.”
I’m not speechless very often.
Talking is kind of my thing.
It’s my jam. My pleasure. My defense. It guides me through nearly any situation.
Right now, though, I don’t even know where to start, or how to respond to the magnificence of his words. His big, beautiful, honest, amazing words that crack my heart even more open for him.
But I also can’t stay silent after that kind of profession. So I choose words and actions. I close the distance between us, grabbing his face, holding him tight and whispering, “Do you know what happened to me yesterday?”
“Tell me.” His voice is as desperate as my heart is for him.
“I fell in love with you last night. Is that crazy?”
“No. It’s awesome,” he says, with ten tons of relief in his voice, and another ten of joy.
“I don’t even know what to make of all these wild emotions that are just slamming into me left and right, but I know that I want to stay in love with you. And I don’t want to lose you, Owen. You are the best person I have ever known,” I say, and my heart is shouting his name, begging to get closer. “So clearly the only thing for me to do is be the greatest boyfriend anyone has ever been . . . so that I can keep you.”