He laughs. “Yes, I definitely have to know now. The suspense is killing me.”
I pull my shoulders back and flex my fingers in my lap. “Well, I don’t really care what kind of job I get. I’m fine working at the church or maybe the diner or the hardware store. I just want experience. I’d eventually like to do online marketing because I want to work from home.”
“I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t I want to know that?”
I try not to fidget. “Well, to be honest, whatever job I get, I want it to be secondary. What I want is to meet a man. A good man that loves me and all the crazy little quirks I have. I want to get married and have kids.” I hold up three fingers. “Probably three, two boys and a girl. I want to have family dinners and be a soccer mom. And well, every night I want to lie in my own house in my husband’s arms and know that no matter what, I’ll always have him by my side. That’s why I want to be able to work from home.”
His legs stop moving, halting the slow swing of the porch swing. The sun has gone down, and we turned off the porch light earlier when it kept attracting bugs. I can’t see the look on his face, but I can imagine what it is. “I know, I know. I sound so outdated, but that’s what I want. That’s what I’ve always wanted. And I know it sounds like I don’t want to work, but I don’t mind working at all. I just—gosh, it sounds awful, but I want to spend time taking care of my family... that’s what I really want.”
He still doesn’t say anything, and I wait for him to get up, make an excuse, and run out of here. My body jerks when I feel his hand on my lap, and he wraps his big hand around mine. “You’ll get it. If that’s what you want, it will happen.”
“Yeah, so, uh what about you?” I ask him.
He threads our fingers together and pulls our hands over to his thigh. “You mean what do I want to do? Well, let’s see. I want my own ranch and a house.”
“You’re getting those.”
He wraps his other hand around ours until mine is being held in both of his. “Yeah, and I mean, I’m older than you. I’m not sure if I believe in forever and all that—at least it wasn’t like that in my own family, and I was married before. When she left, well, I’m not sure I can trust again.” He sighs and continues, “But I do want kids one day, so I’m not really sure.”
I try not to let his words affect me. I start to think about him on his ranch, with little kids around him and working side by side with his wife. I shake my head to get the thoughts away. “You don’t believe in being with someone forever?”
He grunts. “No, at least I’ve never seen it personally.”
My thoughts go to my parents. They were so in love, anyone that was around them could feel the love they had for each other. When my mom died, it was so hard for my father, but he’s content knowing they’ll be together again one day.
I always get sad when I think about my mom, and I can feel the loneliness of it in my voice. “Well, I better go in,” I tell him.
I start to get up, but he squeezes my hand to hold me in place. “Not until you tell me when you’re coming riding.”
“You still want me to go riding with you?”
“Yes. Absolutely.”
“Carter, I think we both know this is not going anywhere.”
He pushes my hair off my shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with getting to know each other.”
I should tell him no, but there’s a part of me that really wants to go riding with him. “I can come Tuesday.”
“When?” he asks immediately.
I shrug. “My schedule’s pretty open until I find a job. What works best for you?”
“How about I pick you up around three?”
“What? No, that’s crazy for you to come into town to get me and then have to bring me back. I can just meet you out at the ranch.”
He stands up, pulling me with him. “I’ll pick you up at three on Tuesday. Put your number in my phone.”
He hands me his phone, and I put my phone number in. There’s no reason for me to argue. He seems like a man that is used to getting his way. “Okay. I’ll be ready.”
I turn to walk away, but he stops me. His voice is hushed on the dark porch. “Janie?”
I stop walking but don’t turn around. “Yeah?”
The sound of his boots is loud on the porch as he walks toward me. I can feel his heat at my back. “Look at me, honey.”