“Of never being good enough for you. Of letting you down or hurting you in some way. I’ve done horrible things to you.”
I lean back from him and shake my head. “You never did those things. Your father did them. He just used your unwilling body as his weapon. I’ve never ever blamed you. I’ve never thought of you as a monster, and I never feared you or thought you would hurt me on your own. I know you would protect me with your life. Who better is there for me to be with than someone who would give
their life for me?”
The muscles in his throat convulses. “What if you have flashbacks? What if being with me makes everything fresh? I can’t….” He squeezes his eyes shut. “I can’t be the cause of you reliving those times. I already did so when I had you hit me with the belt. That’s something I’ll never forgive myself for.”
“If that happens, we’ll stop. But, Aziah, I know the difference between what was done to me and what will happen between us. It’s been ten years since the last time I was touched in that way. I know I still have some things to work through. What I want to share with you will be beautiful and pure.”
His face drops until his forehead meets the center of my chest. Even through the towel, I can feel his hot breath as he breathes deeply. When he lifts his head and his eyes meet mine, his expression is different, some of the torment gone. His hands slide up my back, over my shoulders, until he’s cupping my cheeks. He stares at me for several seconds before he slowly leans forward. The moment his lips meet mine, I release a sigh.
He kisses me softly, reverently, like I’m the best thing he’s ever tasted, and he never wants to stop. I’m fine with that, because I never want him to stop either.
I move my hands over his biceps and rest them on his shoulders, enjoying the strong muscles underneath smooth skin. The towel I have tucked closed between my breasts loosens and falls to my lap. Goose bumps race down my arms, and I suddenly feel lightheaded.
I break my mouth away from his. His eyes move down to my naked chest and they flare with so much heat, it takes my breath away. They fly back up to mine.
“Are you sure?” he asks huskily.
“Because it’s with you, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
“Swear to me, Rella,” he implores adamantly, holding my cheeks so I’m forced to look at him. “I need you to promise me we’ll stop if you become uncomfortable.”
“I promise.”
He blows out a harsh breath, then dips his eyes back down. His hands leave my cheeks and travel a slow path down to my breasts. His eyes flare with desire as he grazes his fingertips down the slopes to my hard nipples. They pucker even more, as if begging him for more attention.
Flutters form in my stomach when he dips his head and swirls his tongue around the areola. I lace my fingers through his hair and tilt my head to the side, watching him ravish my breast. He’s gentle and attentive, and it makes me feel precious and worshiped.
He kisses a path from one breast to the other, giving it the same tender treatment. When he lifts his head, his lips glistening, I lean forward and kiss him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I press myself against him, then moan as his warm chest meets mine. He wraps me in his embrace, and I marvel at how right it feels to be here with him like this.
I spread my legs and scoot closer to the edge of the bed until I feel the heat of him between my thighs. It’s not enough. I want to feel all of him against all of me.
With our mouths still fused together, I push off the bed and settle on his lap, my legs on either side of his. He’s forced to sit back on his heels. My center meets something hard and warm through his briefs that elicits a long moan from me.
His head lifts, and his worried gaze meets mine.
“We don’t have to go all the way yet. We can wait and just… explore each other.”
I tighten my legs around him, pushing even more firmly against his shaft, and he hisses out a breath.
“I don’t need to wait,” I say breathlessly. “I want this. As long as you do too.”
He groans, and I feel him jump underneath me. “I want you so fuckin’ badly I can barely breathe.”
“Then make love to me, Aziah.” I exhale the words against his lips.
Cupping my bottom, he gets to his feet, bringing me with him with my legs still wrapped around his waist. Setting a knee on the bed, he carefully lays me down.
“You’ll never convince me that I deserve you.” He settles on top of me. “But you were right; there’s not a man alive I trust to take care of you like I will or who will love you as much as I do.”
The back of my eyes prick, but I push the need to cry away, not wanting to ruin the moment with pesky tears.
“I love you,” he murmurs, making my heart soar with happiness.
He drops a kiss against my lips that steals all of my breath by the time he pulls back and makes his way down my throat. I moan and clutch his hard shoulders, my head tilted back as he makes love to my breasts with his mouth.
“You’re so beautiful.” I open my eyes and look down to find his bottomless black ones. “I don’t know why God deemed it okay for me to have you, but I swear, Rella, you’ll only know happiness for the rest of your life.”