You have Gem.
I gritted my teeth, latching on to that thought.
Yes, I had her. And thank fuck for that. Otherwise, I’d probably be locked up in a different prison by now for hurting someone.
My hand stroked the pill bottle in the small bag beside me. I’d yet to take one. My naturally suspicious soul and inherently honed paranoia hadn’t let me self-administer yet. Would they even help the chaos in my mind? What exactly would they do to me?
At the end of the consult, the doctor had given me some pills. He said they’d stabilize my physical and mental pain, reduce any lingering inflammation, and told me to set up regular appointments with a doctor in my home state.
What home state?
I didn’t have one of those.
As I let out a heavy sigh, my churning, chaotic thoughts turned to Jareth. Where was he now? Had he hiked his way out of the national park, or had he stashed a vehicle somewhere like Gemma had and driven out?
Did he fully intend to hunt every member of Fables?
I should be helping him.
That was my job. My job was to protect and wear their blood, not his.
My nostrils flared with annoyance for what he’d done.
He hadn’t asked. He’d just done what he’d wanted and set Fables ablaze, but...if we ever met again, I owed him a massive thank you.
My hands curled with anger. Okay, so I owed him a punch to the face for burning down my house, but...he’d been right.
I couldn’t even deny that part because it was obvious, to both Gem and myself, that being away from the valley, being thrust into a new world where people didn’t know about my past had been the saving grace I’d needed.
My night terrors—my tendency to crawl out of bed and hunt the devils of my dreams—had stopped.
Well, not stopped exactly.
The sleepwalking had abated. I’d slept in the same room as Gem for four nights now and not once had I woken while strangling or hurting her. Each morning, she gave me a hug that throbbed with pride and hope that I was mending.
I let her believe my mind wasn’t as putrid, but that was a lie.
I might not act out on my fears in this new life, but it didn’t mean the nightmares had stopped.
After that first night, when I’d passed out cold and had one of the best night’s sleep of my life while pretzeled on an uncomfortable chair, I’d felt re-energized and woke feeling almost sane. However, the next night I’d had a nightmare of Storymaker, followed by another of Levin.
They were just as potent as usual. The scent of Storymaker’s sweat. The reek of my fear. The awful sensation of being used. Colors and voices, pain and degradation, but the difference was...I was no longer in the same house where such atrocities were done to me. I was far, far away, and my mind seemed to know that.
There was no need to go hunting—to kill the ghosts that continued to haunt me. I was here, and their corpses were there. I was no longer the caretaker, watching over death. I was free, and if the nightmares were the only thing I had to endure, I could handle that because I gained more than I could ever imagine in return.
Staring out the window, I sighed again as fields flew by followed by road signs, cars, and life. Life that’d continued without me.
Christ, I’d missed out on so much.
It made me regret waiting this long.
It made me second-guess that I could’ve found Gemma years ago, if only I’d grown some balls and left my valley. If only I hadn’t waited until I was too afraid to leave. If only I’d chosen to chase happiness instead of allowing myself to rot in that tree-surrounded tomb.
“What are you thinking about?” Gem’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “You’re glowering at the passing cars as if you’re going to murder them.”
I swallowed everything I was thinking and slipped back into the present. I turned my head to focus on the most stunning girl alive. How the hell was she with me? After everything I’d done?
I doubted that repetitive question would ever stop.
I drank her in, inspecting the new clothes she’d purchased during a short stop at a massive department store before leaving the city behind. The huge building with a sea of parked cars and bright signage had reminded me of a time before I’d been a Fable kid.
Cold sweat had formed on my back. The whiteness crept over my vision, hinting that I wouldn’t like what I’d find if I let that particular memory return.
Shutting it down, I’d shaken my head when she’d asked if I wanted to join her shopping. She’d hopped out of the black SUV rental that she’d arranged to be dropped off at the hospital when we’d been discharged, rummaged in her backpack for her wallet, then waved goodbye.