“You need to seriously consider bedrest when we get home.” Lucas paces from my side to the monitor, looking at it as if he knows what any of it means. “You might not have ended up here tonight if you went on bedrest when Maryellen first suggested it.”
“You’re blaming me for this?”
“Of course not.”
“But you said it,” I snap. “You said it so you must be thinking it. It’s my fault I’ve been feeling weird pains and now have high blood pressure.”
“Weird pains? You said you were fine.”
“I’m not feeling any pain now. And fine, Lucas. Lock me up in a tall tower, away from everything bad, and you will be the one to explain to our daughter why she was born into an apocalypse. You will be the one to tell her you kept the only person who could have stopped the Horsemen—”
“It doesn’t have to be you!” Lucas throws his hands out in frustration. “The weight of the world doesn’t fall only on your shoulders.”
“I wish that wasn’t true.” I say each word slowly, fighting to quell the anger inside me so I don’t blow up the monitor. “But we both know it has to be me. I’m the only who stands a fighting chance against them, and I’m the only one who can open and close the gates to get them back in.”
“No, you’re not!” He picks up the chair and throws it against the wall, shattering it into a dozen little pieces and denting the wall. I’ve never seen Lucas this angry before, and I get it. I really do. Of course I don’t want to do anything that puts Elena at risk. Getting pregnant was the last thing I wanted, given everything going on. But we don’t get to pick and choose our destiny, and the stars aligned in such a way that, against all odds, Lucas and I were able to have a child of our own.
I remind myself Lucas isn’t solely mad at me. He’s mad about this whole fucking situation, as am I, but it’s unfair to take it out on me like this. The lights flicker and the monitor starts beeping rapidly. The soundproof spell I cast on the hospital room won’t prevent the nurses from rushing in when they get alerted to the monitors again. Clenching my fists, I try to pull all my anger, all my power inside.
“Who else, then?” I say through gritted teeth.
“The archangels. They had to be the ones who did it before. They can do it again.”
“But at what cost, Lucas? How long do we have to sit back and watch the world burn before my all-powerful yet extremely disconnected relatives swoop in to save the day? The world has gone to shit before, and they didn’t help.”
“I don’t know,” he bellows. “But not at the cost of your life! If I lose you, I’ll lose Elena too.” The anger breaks away from his face. “I can’t lose you, Callie. If I lose you, I’ll have nothing.”
Heart hurting, I extend my hand for him. I absolutely hate fighting with Lucas, and tensions are high right now. Having a complication during pregnancy can happen to anyone, no matter how healthy and careful they are. Add in trying to stop an apocalypse and it really is a wonder I haven’t had a mental breakdown yet.
“You have Eliza,” I say, and Lucas comes back to me, taking my hand in both of his. “And someone has to take care of Scarlet.” I slowly push myself up. “You’re not going to lose me, Lucas. I’m way too stubborn to die.”
“We need to be realistic, Callie,” he says, voice somber. He’s right, and I really do need to come up with a contingency plan in case of my death. I don’t have a will, and now that Lucas’s wealth is mine as well, meeting with a lawyer to put things in writing is something I shouldn’t have put off. “And smart. You’re not a selfish person, but I am. So blame me for making you put yourself first. Step back. Don’t be the better person. Let the world burn.”
He knows I can’t do that. Sitting back and letting innocent people die goes against every fiber of my being. Literally. My dad is the protector of the innocent, the warrior against evil. It goes against my nature to let demons get an upper hand, even if I know I can take them all out later.
“After you give birth,” Lucas goes on. “You won’t be as human and as vulnerable. You’ll have full access to your angelic powers again, and there’s no risk this time when Michael unlocks the rest of them.”
“You’re right,” I tell him and blink back tears. My head is pounding, making me feel like I’m going to throw up. I bring my left hand up, forgetting about the IV line, and wince when it pulls.