“Thank you for saying that, but you don’t have to lie. I’m not a very nurturing person, and I’m used to only taking care of myself.”
“You are, though,” she goes on. “You’re by far the weirdest person I’ve ever met, but you are without a doubt a good weirdo. If my own parents gave half a shit about their own children as you do about strangers, I probably wouldn’t have been turned into a vampire.”
“Should I say sorry?” I make a face.
“The year I was turned, yes. Now, hell fucking no. I love being a vampire. I’m prettier, faster, stronger, and genuinely better than humans. And I can say that in front of you because you know it’s true. Vampires are superior. Our only downfall is that we can’t procreate, but Lucas has found a way around that.”
“You do know Elena is going to be born a human, right? The only non-human parts she’s going to get are from my paternal side of the family.”
“Of course. And for as goodas we are, I suppose you’re better. You’re alive but don’t appear to age. You heal quickly, but not so fast that it raises eyebrows. Magic still flows through your veins, and you can do that neat disappearing trick and go anywhere you want in the world.”
“Yeah, but only if another angel takes me.”
Eliza cocks an eyebrow. “Like you just said, your father is fucking Michael. I’m sure if you try hard enough, you’ll be able to click your heels three times and go wherever the fuck you want.”
“We’ll see,” I mumble. It’s crossed my mind. Julian told me I’m just as powerful as he is being a full angel, even though I have humanity running through my veins. “Too bad I can’t just wish my way to the Covenstead door. Because that walk is far.”
“You need a path and a golf cart. It’s much more sophisticated than a four-wheeler.”
“I’m liking that idea. Though wouldn’t a path leading to the door be pretty damn obvious?”
“Have it loop around and not go right to the door, genius.”
“Stop being so logical,” I retort. “It’s something to consider. I’m still leaning to the idea of a horse. I’ll sound so bougie saying I have a horse.”
“Funny how that’s changed. Horses were necessities and then were out of fashion. Now they’re associated with the rich.”
“You are literally living history.”
“One of my many talents. Now go, dress like a pregnant teenage schoolgirl and let my maker have his way with you.” She almost gets her words out without gagging. I laugh and wave my hand, pushing a book into its proper place on the shelf.
I look around the library, realizing that this is a room I’ve dreamed of having in a house I’ve wanted since I first laid eyes on it. And now my eyes are getting misty, and I don’t think I can blame pregnancy hormones on this.
I first mentioned this house to Lucas when we were sitting on the back porch of my small brick house, trying to distract myself as we waited to go to the Covenstead. Varrador was after me, and that asshole was the first demon to come to earth in search of the Nephilim child.
How things have changed since then, right?
It was a pipe dream for years, and I’d looked into seriously buying this house a few times over the years, but it was too expensive and the repairs to make it livable would've cost even more. That didn’t stop me from imagining my life in this house, and this library is everything I could have ever wanted.
It’s been a constant whirlwind of what’s next since we moved in. Even when I try to relax, there’s always the anxiety of the other shoe dropping. Of the next curse to be cast. The next demon attack. That’s my life, and I’m at peace with it. I don’t force my friends to stand by my side, and even when I feel guilty for them getting involved, it still boils down to their choice.
But Elena? She doesn’t get a choice. She’s being born into this chaos, and I hate that I question if she’d be better off elsewhere. No one is going to love her as much as Lucas and I do. I know that for certain. But sometimes loving someone means letting them go, doesn’t it?
“Want to go for a walk?” I ask Scarlet when she trots into the room. Sniffling, I wipe my eyes and force all unwelcome thoughts to the back of my mind. The oversized dog jumps up and wags her tail. “I wish I could take you through the door. With four werewolves, two vampires, and one demon already being allowed to pass through, asking if I can get you into the Covenstead might be pushing it.” I run my hand over her wiry fur. “But we can totally cuddle later, okay?”