And now…now Lucas and I get the chance to have our own family. He’s going to be a father after nearly two thousand years of knowing it’s impossible for a vampire to procreate, and yet here we are.
But Lucifer is right. Part of me knows I don’t belong.
“I take your hesitation as a yes,” Lucifer goes on. “And no, I’m not trying to manipulate you into taking the throne. Though here—as well as above—you won’t have to hold back. I’ve seen glimpses of you using your powers, all your powers. You are strong, and power like that isn’t meant to be bottled up. Instead of concealing your powers, you should embrace it. You shouldn’t have to hold back.”
I look at my own hands, and some of the fear I’ve recently felt comes rushing back. How easy it would be for me to accidentally hurt someone. If Lucas wasn’t a vampire who heals, if he were a warlock or even just a regular human…no. I’m not going to think about it, because Elena will be mostly human. She’s not going to heal in seconds. And I’m not going to hurt my baby.
“I spent years hiding my powers and wishing they’d go away,” I start, flattening my palms against my thighs. “And then when Tabatha rescued me from that research lab, I did get to embrace who I was. Granted, I didn’t run away on a snowy mountain and build a castle for myself, but I definitely got to let it go in terms of how I had to hold back.”
“But you are holding back,” Lucifer goes on. “You’re not allowing yourself access to all of your power.”
“Only out of fear. Using my angel powers will alert the cosmos of my whereabouts. I don’t hide who I am anymore. Most of my coven knows the truth, and sometimes I wish they didn’t. I don’t want to be treated differently because of what I am. People should be judged on who they are.”
“Wise words, dear niece.”
“Thanks,” I say and look down at the spell, Julian’s warning echoing in the back of my mind. The portal isn’t meant to stay open long for the very reasons he listed, and if only there was a— “I know how to lessen the time the portal is open.”
“You do?” Julian questions. “How?”
“Six-six-six,” I explain and tap the numbers 666 that are written inside a circle at the top of the page. “When I first saw this, I assumed it was because my mother used it to get into Hell and the whole number of the beast thing was significant. Though it can’t be, if she used it to get out of Hell, and this doodle on the side of the page.” I flip the notebook around and show them. “It’s a coven symbol for Coven of the Sacred Star, which is in Massachusetts. I know that because it was one of the covens Tabatha contacted about doing the protection spell along the hot spots on the Ley line. According to what my mother wrote on her notebook, she attended Starfall Academy, which was founded by the Sacred Star Coven and was one of the first witch academies in America.”
“I still don’t follow,” Julian says slowly.
“My mother was excommunicated because she cared enough not to hurt her sister by refusing to be in an arranged marriage. A founding coven like the Sacred Stars takes excommunication seriously, so anyone kicked out would have to leave. She used this portal to go visit her sister. And here.” I point to messily written notes at the bottom of the page. “That’s the Celtic symbol for sisters. I saw that on another page.” I quickly flip through the pages, ignoring the way both Julian and Lucifer are staring at me as if I were starring in a gothic version of A Beautiful Mind.
“Read this.” My eyes linger over the words written around the sister symbol, which was drawn with black ink and is smudged with water droplets.
“Born six apart, kept six away, six is not enough, but six is all I can stay.” Julian looks up from the notebook.
“Look inside the symbol,” I tell him. “See the sixes? I know it’s a long shot, but if she was willing to use dark magic to save her younger sister, they had to be close. And if she would visit a place she wasn’t supposed to be, she had to come back. The portal will stay open for six minutes, because of how the herbs are charred. Sacred geometry has always been difficult for me to understand, but this is how it works.”
Going over to the cauldron, I hold one hand over it. “How long as it been?”
“Four minutes,” Lucifer tells me, and I wave my hand, breaking the telekinetic seal.
“Then the portal will be open for four minutes.” I look at the herbs, which are mostly black by now. Six minutes must be the longest they can withstand the heat. Any longer and they’d burn, rendering them useless. “Ready?”