“No. You sound honest.”
I stood up and said, “You’re just being nice. I know I’m a mess, and if you want to leave, I totally understand.”
Logan placed his glass on the arm of his chair and got up, too. “I’m actually having a nice time.” He came closer and ran his hands down my upper arms. “I like you, Matt.”
“It’s actually Mateo.”
“That’s a beautiful name.” When I looked up at him, he studied me for a few moments, and then he started to lean in for a kiss. My breath caught, and I stepped back quickly. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Was that too soon?”
“It’s more than that. I thought I could do this. I really wanted to. You’re so nice, but I just…can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because there’s someone else.”
He asked, “You’re married?” I shook my head. “So, you have a boyfriend.”
“No.”
“You don’t mean you have a mate, do you? Because from what I’ve heard about werewolves, that’s pretty rare.”
I sighed and admitted, “Unfortunately, that’s exactly what I mean.”
Logan asked, “Does he know you’re dating?”
“I don’t date. Not really. It’s been years since I tried, and if he knew what I was doing right now, he’d be furious. Like all alphas, he’s extremely territorial.”
“So, can I expect him to hunt me down and beat me up?”
“No. I actually haven’t seen him in a century,” I said. “In fact, I don’t even know if he’s in California anymore. I refused our bond when we met and have been hiding from him ever since.”
“I didn’t think fated mates could do that.”
“It’s not easy. Most don’t even try.” I looked up at him and said, “I’m so sorry. It must seem like I led you on by inviting you here. But I thought maybe this time I could go through with it, because so much time had passed. I feel too guilty, though. Even if I don’t want to be with my mate, I’m still—”
“His.” I sighed and looked away, but then I nodded. “It’s okay, I get it. Maybe I should go, considering the circumstances.” I followed him through the house, and when we reached the front door, he turned to me and said, “I hope things work out for you.”
On impulse, I grabbed him in a hug. Logan seemed startled and his posture went rigid, but after a few seconds, I felt him relax. He put his arms around me and held me for a long moment, until I finally stepped back and murmured, “Thanks for being so understanding.”
“Maybe someday you’ll find a way to be free of him once and for all, and maybe we’ll see each other again. You never know. Until then, take care of yourself, Mateo.”
I watched him as he walked out the door and down the stairs, and I felt it as the invisible wards around the house snapped shut behind him. He climbed into his car and fired up the engine, then swung around in a wide arc and took off down the long, winding driveway.
The house was so quiet in his wake.
Too quiet.
I trudged to the den, grabbing the bottle of merlot along the way. After I pushed off my shoes, I curled up in a little ball under my favorite blanket, which was old, ratty, and comforting. Then I used the remote to pull up one of the telenovelas recorded on my DVR.
I drank from the bottle and stared unseeingly at the TV screen for a while. There was a dull ache in my chest, one that just wouldn’t go away, and I whispered, “Damn it.”
I really thought I’d made my peace with being lonely. There’d been entire decades when I’d tolerated it just fine. But when my best—and only—friend got married and moved to the desert with his beautiful husband, he left a huge void in his wake. Then that familiar feeling of loneliness became something bigger, something I couldn’t really control. I hated that.
With a sigh, I got up and opened another bottle of wine.
I ended up dozing off on the couch, which was nothing new. I slept there most nights anyway. But I awoke a few hours later with the hair on the back of my neck standing on end. Just as I was trying to figure out what woke me, the power cut out, plunging the house into darkness.
I slipped out from under the blanket and moved to the center of the room. A perk of being part werewolf was that I could see perfectly in the dark, and nothing seemed out of place. But there was a feeling in the air, something electric, and I exhaled slowly, then closed my eyes and reached out with my senses.
What I found sent a trickle of fear down my spine. There was something in the driveway, something dark and powerful. It was working systematically to attack the wards that protected my home—and me.