We frowned at each other as I stepped into the kitchen, and then I ignored him while I opened a few cabinets and searched for mugs. After I found them, I discovered the coffee pot was nearly empty, so I poured the half cup that was left and started brewing a fresh pot.
My back was to Tracy, and I could feel his eyes boring into me. Once I started the coffee maker, I turned to him and blurted, “You know, I’m not the enemy. I want the same thing you do, for Gabriel to be happy.”
His voice was a low growl when he said, “You just fucking went off and left him behind.”
It took me a minute to process that, and then I asked, “Are you talking about four years ago, when he put me on a bus to Reno?”
Tracy’s scowl deepened. “Were there other times you abandoned him?”
“I don’t know what the hell you think happened four years ago, but let me paint you a picture. I was starting to go through withdrawal, and I couldn’t stop shaking. I was sick and dizzy and trying not to puke, and with the last of my strength I begged Gabriel to come with me to Nevada. I fucking begged him. He wouldn’t do it, though. He said I didn’t need a junkie like him dragging me down. He wouldn’t even give me a way to contact him after I got out of rehab.
“He literally carried me onto that bus because I was too weak to make it up the stairs. Then he took off, and before I could go after him and try again to get him to come with me, I ended up passing out. By the time I came to, the bus was outside San Francisco, and I had absolutely no way of finding him again. If you want to hate me for leaving him behind, get in line. I spent the past four years hating myself for it, even though I know for a fact there wasn’t a single thing I could have done differently.”
Tracy’s dark expression wavered for a moment. I could tell he was doubting his version of the truth, which I was sure he’d twisted around and misinterpreted from whatever Gabriel had told him about the day I left. After a pause, he said, “So how the hell did you find him here?”
“Call it dumb luck, a random coincidence, or fate, but it was a total surprise to run into him again after all these years. To me, it says we were meant to be together.”
“You’re really not.”
I frowned at him and asked, “What are you basing that on?”
“You’ve been back in his life for two days, and what’s the first thing you’re doing? Taking him back to San Francisco! What the hell’s the matter with you?”
“It was his idea to come along.”
He snapped, “You could have refused to take him with you.”
“He’s not a child, Garcia. If he wants to go to San Francisco, it’s his choice.”
“So, you’re fine with the fact that he’s putting himself at risk, just because he thinks he has to babysit you?”
I asked, “How is he putting himself at risk? Don’t tell me it’s because my former ‘Dom’ is still holding a grudge after all this time and will magically find us in a city of almost a million people, because that’s pretty unlikely.”
I hadn’t thought it was possible for Tracy’s scowl to deepen, but it did as he growled, “That just shows how totally fucking ignorant you are.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Then please enlighten me with your great wisdom.”
“It’s not just because that sociopath would fuck you both up if he happened to cross your path. You proved it could happen, by the way, by randomly stumbling across Gabriel this weekend.”
He wasn’t wrong about that last part. I asked, “Okay, so what else is wrong with taking him with me to San Francisco?”
“That city is toxic to him! He relapsed over and over again when he was living there. It wasn’t until we moved here, to this relatively controlled environment, that he was finally able to get a handle on his addiction. Now you’re about to take him back to a place that’s loaded with triggers. You’ve dealt with these same issues, so don’t you see why this is a huge problem?”
“I get what you’re saying, but Gabriel gets to decide where he goes. This trip was his idea, and it’s insulting to treat him like a helpless little waif who can’t think for himself.” Tracy looked away, and after a few moments I said, “Even though you’ve been acting like a douche, I’m glad you brought this up. I’ll definitely talk to him about it. And I get that you’re worried about him, but just so you know, acting like I’m the enemy isn’t doing your friend any favors.”