He gave me a haughty look and said, “You and he will never last.”
“I look forward to proving you wrong, while doing what you failed to do.”
Jack frowned at me. “What did I fail to do?”
“You failed to hold on to him, asshole. Duh! You also failed to treat him with respect, and you utterly failed to appreciate him, which is so fucking stupid, because no one in the world is as wonderful as Wes. No one.” I half-lowered my lids, then ran my gaze from his head to his toes and back up again as judgmentally as I could before saying, “You also failed to ride that big, thick, yummy cock of his, and let me tell you, Jack-Jack. You. Missed. Out.” I muttered, “Only a top. Whatever,” and sauntered out of the kitchen, while Jack stared at me incredulously and Chet snorted with laughter.
I hung a right when I stepped out the front door, intent on carrying on with my plan of going to the boathouse. But after a minute or two, I plopped down on a bench to rest, since the island was spinning. Then I thought I should message Jasper, so I pulled my phone from my pocket and wrote: Hi honey, I miss you! I’m drunk right now and waiting for Wes to finish dinner. He and I are a couple now, and I told him I’m giving his money back, even though he says he won’t take it. His mother is Cruella de Vil by the way, and his ex and his brother are mean and I don’t like them. Also have you ever noticed Cruella’s last name is literally devil? I never saw that before.
When my phone rang in my hand a few moments later, I glanced at Jasper’s name on the screen, then answered with, “Hey, handsome! What’re you doing?”
“I just got home after seeing a client. Did Wes get you drunk?”
“No. He’s at his stuck up family’s dinner party and doesn’t even know I’ve been drinking. I met Chet Fontenot and he was really nice, but I shouldn’t have tried to match him shot for shot. Tequila is super gross, but I was tryin’ to hang with the big dogs.”
“Are you talking about the celebrity chef?”
“Yep. Wes’s mom hired him to impress her fancy friends. She doesn’t like me, Jas.”
“Where are you right now?”
“On a bench by some trees and bushes and stuff. It’s pretty here.”
“Can you be more specific?”
“I’m like…to the left of the house if you’re facing the front of it, next to the lagoon. Or wait…the lagoon is at the back of the house. Maybe it’s all around it. Anyway, I don’t know what I’m looking at because it’s dark out.”
Jasper said, “I’m going to call you right back,” and hung up on me.
I murmured, “Aw, he went away.” Then I curled up on the bench and tucked my arm under my head. When my phone rang again a minute later and Jasper’s name reappeared on the screen, I sat up and exclaimed, “Yay!” Then I answered with, “Where’d you go?”
“I texted Wesley and told him where to find you. I’m worried you’ll fall into the ocean and drown or something.”
“I don’t think this is the ocean. I mean, it connects to the ocean, obviously. But maybe the lagoon is on all sides of this mini island, and there’s like, a much bigger island between me and the actual ocean. Hang on, I want to see you.” I pushed the video button, and after a moment Jasper appeared on my screen. I smiled at him and said, “Hi. You look pretty.”
“Thanks. So do you.”
“I’m wearing your suit, look.” I held the phone at arm’s length so I could show him my outfit, and then I tilted it up a bit and said, “Oh look, here comes Wes. He’s so handsome. He’s nice, too. So nice. And smart. Did you know he speaks four languages? One of them is French. I’m gonna marry that man, Jas. Je suis…marry…mon homme. I took French in high school, but I forgot everything. Shhh, don’t tell Wes I’m gonna marry him. It’s a secret, since we haven’t been dating very long.”
Wes was standing behind me by that point, and he was grinning. He waved at my phone and said, “Hi, Jasper. Thank you for the heads-up. I thought Ash was waiting for me in a boathouse, not tying one on with a world-famous chef.”
“I really hope I don’t throw up,” I muttered, as Wes sat down beside me, then took my phone from me and held it up, so Jasper could see both of us. “That would be such a waste. Do you know how much it costs to eat at one of Chet Fontenot’s restaurants? I don’t, but like, it’s a lot. That I do know.”