Forbidden: An Older Man Younger Woman Romance - Page 60

I was drinking my second cup and going over plans Cam had scanned into the computer and sent over for me when I heard Ally rustling in the bedroom. There was a bumping sound and a few muttered profanities.

“Are you okay?” I called out to her.

“I’m fine,” she said after a moment’s pause.

“Are you sure? Do you need help?”

“No.”

I muffled a laugh and went about gathering ingredients to make breakfast. She spent several minutes in the bathroom, and when she came back out, I told her to get back in bed. I was expecting pushback, but she complied. She must have been feeling really bad still if she was willing to do what I asked her to do without her usual arguments.

When I brought plates of eggs and toast into the room, she looked at them hesitantly.

“You should eat,” I said.

“It looks good,” she said. “My stomach is just sensitive in the mornings.”

“I know,” I said. “But you have to keep up your strength. Just try a little bit.”

She nodded her agreement, and I set the plate in her lap. She took a small bite of the toast first and waited, seeming to gauge how it reacted with her stomach. Apparently, it did well because then she scooped up a little bit of eggs and tried them. When she settled into eating, I sat down beside her.

“I think we need to talk,” I said.

She nodded. “I think you’re right.”

And so, we talked. Actually talked, like we should have from the day we met rather than doing everything we could to drive each other insane. Over breakfast and then over cups of tea and coffee, we opened up to each other. I knew Derek had told her about Monica, but she needed to hear it from me. He could tell her the details and what he’d observed, but I was the only one who could really tell her how it affected me. I needed her to understand what I went through and how it still influenced my life.

It was a little awkward, but I pushed through it. Monica was still a part of my life. She always would be. So, I was open and honest with Ally, wanting her both to understand my reaction and maybe to also start to see how important and unexpected she was in my life.

“I want to apologize to you, again,” I said later. “I can’t believe how I treated you. And how I reacted to this. I never would have thought I would be the type of man who would do something like that.”

Ally nodded. “It was definitely a shock. I didn’t expect it either. But like I said at the hospital, I should have handled it differently too. If I had gotten to tell you in a different way, maybe it would have gone better.”

“What matters now is I know and we’re going to get through this,” I said.

“We?” she asked.

There was a lot of meaning in that one little word. I nodded.

“Yes,” I said. “We’re in this together.”

I couldn’t figure out what she might be feeling or thinking, so I just nodded. For right then, we were agreeing that we would at least raise the baby together. That was a valuable first step even if, privately, I was hoping for so much more.

28

Ally

By the time our conversation slowed, I felt something shift between us. I couldn’t yet define exactly what it was, but there was definitely something different. And for the first time in my life, I didn’t feel a push to go faster or an urgency to get all the answers right then.

I was okay sitting in the knowledge that things had changed, and something was happening.

The thing was, I hadn’t been completely, one hundred percent honest with Noah. I absolutely wanted to raise the baby with him, to have him involved through everything. That just wasn’t all I wanted. If I was being honest, what I really wanted was to be with him.

I thought the conversation was going to lead in that direction. I tried to guide it there. But I found myself uncharacteristically at a loss for words. Usually, I had absolutely no trouble not only knowing exactly what I wanted but asking for it. I was usually bold and up-front. It wasn’t a problem for me to express myself and let my feelings about any given situation be known.

It wasn’t like that with Noah. At least, it wasn’t now. I sat there grappling with my feelings for him, wanting to tell him that I didn’t just want us to be co-parents. I didn’t just want to share the responsibilities of the baby. I wanted to share our life.

But I couldn’t bring myself to say it outright. I wanted to hear what he was thinking and feeling first. When he didn’t take the bait of what I was trying to say to him, I let the issue drop. For now, we were agreeing to raise the baby together, and I was happy about that. Maybe it should have been my priority in the first place.

Tags: Natasha L. Black Romance
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