She lifted one envelope from the top of the stack and held it over the grate, her fingers shaking as she clicked the small ignition switch on the firelighter over and over again. A faint blue spark appeared at the end of the firelighter. A blue spark that with a small hiss turned into a golden flame.
She could feel the tears now, feel them burn within her eyes and scald her cheeks as she put the flame to the paper. The edge of the envelope lit up, glowing briefly before darkness consumed it, blackening the paper even as its contents had blackened Josh’s heart.
Callie was sobbing now, lifting the next envelope and the next, adding them to the tiny blaze.
Light unexpectedly flooded the room and Callie heard a male shout. Josh peremptorily pushed her aside, a small fire extinguisher in his hands. He dealt with the flames, snatching the lesser-damaged letters from the fireplace and spreading them on the hearth where they smouldered like the fury etched on his face.
Looking up into his eyes, Callie knew this was the end of all she’d hoped for. The end of all her dreams. He’d never forgive her for this. Never understand that she’d done it for him.
Eleven
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Josh ground out through a jaw clenched so tight he thought his teeth would shatter.
Callie just looked at him in horror.
Rage soared through him like a live creature, consuming reason and making his vision blur angry and red. He wanted to grab her, shake the truth from her, but he knew if he caved in to that urge he’d be unaccountable for his actions.
As if she could read his mind, she scooted out of his reach and drew upright, fear painting her already pale features even more pallid.
“I had to do it, Josh.”
“Had to? You have no right. Those are my private property. You know what they are to me.”
Josh fought to control his temper when all he really wanted to do was throw her bodily from the house.
“I know Bruce Palmer is your father. I can’t let you use those letters against him.”
“You can’t?” he repeated incredulously. “It has nothing to do with you. Absolutely nothing.”
“But it does, don’t you see? I have to protect them. They saved me from the most awful life, Josh. I had hit my lowest ebb. They saved me! You have no idea. I owe it to them to do everything in my power to stop you from destroying them and yourself in the process.”
“You set out to ensnare me from the beginning, didn’t you?” he accused, taking a step toward her, his hands clenched into fists at his side. “This, everything, it’s all been one lie after another.”
“No! I didn’t even want to take your damn job. I loved my work with Irene,” she protested.
“Then why? Why did you come to work with me?”
“You only wanted me to hurt them. What does it matter?”
“Why did you come to work with me?” He enunciated each word so carefully he thought his mind would burst with the concentration it took.
Callie dropped her head. When she spoke he was hard-pressed to hear her.
“Irene wanted me to spy on you.”
“Spy? On me?” Josh let loose a laugh that echoed hollowly through the room. “So you were behind the Flinders information leak. Well, isn’t that just kismet. All along I thought you were mine and there you were, betraying me to the very scum that made my mother’s life a living hell.”
Callie flinched at the harshness of his words but he couldn’t feel any sympathy for the emotional blow he’d struck her.
“Josh, this anger you bear toward him—it’s eating you up inside. It’s taking away everything decent, everything your mother raised you to be, and replacing it with something cruel and vindictive. Have you ever actually read those letters?” She flung a hand at the charred envelopes on the hearth.
“I read them once. That was enough.”
“Then you really don’t understand and you never will. I had to get rid of them before they consumed everything that I love in you.”
“Love?” He felt as if something vile had crawled into his mouth as he said the word. “You’re trying to tell me that you love me?”
“I do!” she cried, her hands now clenched together in front of her. “I tried not to. Lord knows, it was the last thing I expected or wanted. I couldn’t have been with you the way we have if I didn’t love you. Josh, you’re the first man I’ve made love with.”
“Don’t lie to me. You were no shrinking virgin when I took you.”
“No, I wasn’t, but I’m telling you the truth. I made some choices about sex when I was young—choices that had nothing to do with emotion. On the streets a girl can get to the stage where she’ll do almost anything for a meal and shelter in the middle of a freezing winter night, especially when she hasn’t eaten in a week. I’m not proud of what I did, but the fact remains I did what I had to do to survive. But after that last time I swore to myself that I’d rather die than let anyone touch me like that again—unless I loved him and trusted him, like I love and trust you. Josh, I never knew sex could be anything more. I never knew lovemaking could be like it is with you.”