Levi Tibbs walks in two days.
The three of us formulated an ironclad strategy to take him out without getting caught. The details of that plan have been occupying her mind all day.
After visiting Lorne last week, I know she has reservations. The consequences of killing a man stared down at her with her brother’s hardened eyes.
“You can sit this out.” I prefer she did, but I know she won’t.
Either way, I have no intention of letting her take the fall if shit goes south.
“I worry about you.” She bows her head, staring at her scarred palm. “I can’t lose you again.”
My heart skips a beat. That’s the closest she’s come to verbally acknowledging our future together.
I push off the island, reaching her side in three strides.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I cup her face and stroke my thumb across her pouty lips. “I promise.”
She nods, looking down, her expression pensive. “We didn’t have any therapy talks today. I feel like…” Her eyes return to mine and narrow. “You’re planning something big.”
I gave her the day off to rest. She’ll need every ounce of energy for the long, exhausting, very big night ahead of us.
“In a few minutes, we’re going to discuss the ravine.” I touch a finger against her lips, halting her attempt to protest. “Then I’m going to tell you everything.”
“Everything?”
“Yeah.” I step behind her and press my chest to her back, trapping her pelvis against the counter.
“Jake.” Her shoulders hike to her ears, and she pushes against the counter’s edge. “Back up.”
I crowd closer, clocking the acceleration of her breaths. I’ve been provoking this trigger a lot over the past couple of days. Tonight, I’m going to red-line it.
“Focus on my voice.” I slowly slide my arms around her tiny waist and put my mouth at her ear. “We’re going to talk about your sixteenth birthday. I’m going to tell you everything I know. Then, if I’ve earned your forgiveness, I’m going to fuck you.” I lower a hand to her pussy and press against the denim seam. “Here.”
“I can’t talk about…” She grips the edge of the sink, trembling and wheezing. “Not the ravine. I can’t do this.”
“You can, and you won’t be alone.”
Her nails scratch against the counter, her breaths loud and fitful. “I can’t have sex from behind.”
“Every position, Conor.”
A shuddering sob escapes her lips. “I think… Maybe…” She gulps for air. “There’s medicine I can take for the anxiety. That would be better.”
“Medication is addictive and unnecessary. Lift your arms.”
She crosses them, hugging her waist.
I step back just enough to let my hand fly. The hard smack on her ass sends her up on her toes. Her hands drop to the counter, and she releases a half-cry, half-moan.
“Arms up.” I spank her again. “I’d love to spend all night reddening your ass.”
A deep, reluctant groan sounds in the back of her throat, pulsing a surge of blood to my cock. She loves when I spank her, so much so she’ll risk a panic attack just to feel the bite of my palm.
But she still hasn’t lifted her arms.
“I’ll take your disobedience as a sign you’re not ready.” I back away from her.
“Wait.” She spins around, pinching the bridge of her nose and whispering under her breath, “Fucking hell and damn. Just…” Her hand lowers, and her eyes latch onto mine. “Don’t leave me.”
A crack rips through my chest. “You think that’s what I’m going to do?”
She lifts a shoulder. “I don’t know.”
The tightness around her mouth suggests there’s more she’s not saying.
I close the distance, grip her hips, and hoist her onto the counter.
“Let’s break it down.” I wedge between her legs and give her the full force of my eyes. “Talk.”
“Always with the damn talking.” She hovers her hands above my shoulders before flattening them on my chest. “You’re just so imposing. Forceful. Larger than life. You give me this crazy, buzzing, full-body rush all the time, and my brain just goes splat.” She narrows her eyes. “Don’t let that go to your head.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“I’ve spent every second with you for the past ten days, and I keep thinking this buzzing, hyper-aware feeling I get with you is going to wear off. But it doesn’t. It just keeps growing stronger and louder and…”
“And?”
“I’m terrified of it. Of this.” She gestures between us. “I don’t know what you’re hiding. I don’t know if you’re going to break my heart again. I haven’t even tried to find a place to live, and that’s just…stupid. Then there’s the whole spanking thing. Jesus, Jake. Why do I even like that? After Dalton…” Her eyebrows knit together. “I should be throat punching you every time you lay a hand on me.”
“Thank you for being honest with me.” I cup her jaw and kiss her lips. “I love you.”