He sits up from his slouched position. “What do you mean, different?”
Another ding.
“?‘All clear.’?”
But I don’t feel all clear. I feel like I’m flying apart at the seams. I drum my fingers against the steering wheel. “Not that I was an expert before or anything, and the powers are demonic in origin anyway, so there’s a certain amount of darkness that accompanies them, right? But I’ve been having these flashes of rage. And sometimes I want—I want to hurt things. Not to stop them or fight them, but to hurt them. And that’s new. That’s not me.” My voice breaks. I stop and clear my throat. “You had my power for a little bit. You felt it. Did you feel that?”
I finally look over at him. And then I wish I hadn’t. His face is frozen in a mask of horror.
“What?” I ask. “Tell me.”
“I—oh, Athena. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think—I didn’t even consider it.”
“Consider what?”
“When I took the energy from my mother. It was overwhelming. So much of it. I assumed that was what it felt like to have your power. But—god, I should have died. I should have died when I was supposed to.”
I pass a car with barely enough space, an angry horn following us. “Leo, tell me. It can’t be worse than what I’m imagining.”
“My mother drained others before you. Bradford Smythe. Cosmina. Several incredibly old demons. And I assumed that power would have burned off. She was using so much of it. But …”
“No, that’s worse than what I was imagining. That’s for sure worse. You’re telling me I got an extra demoned-up cocktail of power? That my demon-based Slayer power wasn’t demony enough, so I got several shots of demon espresso to really bump me to the next level. And Cosmina! And Bradford Smythe! Oh gods, I have part of Bradford Smythe’s life energy force free-floating around in me! I need to take a shower. I need to—”
“I should never have been part of your life. I thought I was helping. I really did. But who was I kidding? This is who I am. What I come from. I corrupt everything I touch, and I always will. I’m so sorry. I wish you hadn’t found me. I should have died alone in Von Alston’s house.”
“You’re not going to die.” The tires skid as I take a curve too fast but somehow keep control of the car. “No one is unless I say so.” It comes out a snarl.
He slumps in his seat. His voice is exhausted. It sounds like it’s coming from much farther away than it is. “I never took any energy myself. It was always my mother. And she’s gone. I’m dying. Starving to death. But it’s only incredibly slow and painful, so, all things considered not a bad way to go.” He tries to laugh. It doesn’t work.
His mother’s fate hangs in the air between us. His mother, who stole power and energy from others while they slept, and then passed it to him. That’s how he got my power back from her. Before I killed his mother and left him for dead.
“I refuse to let you die.” I hit the road that will take us to Shancoom. Every mile is torture. “I had to leave you before. I didn’t have a choice. Now I do. And you don’t get to die because you feel bad about what your mother did or who your father was.”
“I’m sorry to do this to you,” he whispers. “But you don’t get a choice in this one either. I’d rather die than be a predator or hurt you again.”
The phone dings. Leo takes way too long to relay the message. I already know before he says it.
“They’re under attack.”
23
“HERE’S HOW IT’S GOING DOWN,” I say, the engine roaring as it devours the road beneath us. I run through the plans over and over in my head, like thinking about them can protect the people involved until I get there. “Jade, Cillian, and Rhys are on the grounds. Jade will have had enough time to set traps. Doug is locked in the gym, where there’s only one way in or out, so they’ll have a hard time getting to him. He can defend himself, but I’m not risking him with how badly Sean would love to get him back. We don’t know their objective, but we can guess they’re after the demons as retaliation for how many I cost them.”
“Athena,” Leo says.
“Tsip will be in and out, wherever she’s needed, though mostly centered around the gym. I don’t know how she is in a fight. She’ll keep the attackers focused on the main portion of the castle, though, and out of the wings. The Littles are staying in their suite, but we have a false back to their closet built in so they can hide there. I’m assuming the other Slayers will be there with Jessi to protect them. Jessi would be more than happy to let them die, but she’ll do anything to protect the Littles.” Artemis won’t go near the Littles. She won’t. Whatever else she’s doing, she won’t hurt them.
“Athena,” he says again.
“Ruth will be in the library with Imogen protecting the books. You know Ruth will die before she lets someone take any of our resources. And my mother—” My breath catches. My mother gave me permission to see Leo, and instead I stole him and ran aw
ay for the day. And now she’s protecting the castle on her own, and I’m not where I should be, and if she dies it will be my fault. Artemis specifically told me to bring our mother and Rhys. She set me up to get the only people in the castle she cares about out.
Oh gods. People are going to die. And Artemis knows it.
Leo’s hand rests on my forearm. “They all know what to do. They’ve all trained for this.”
“If something happens to any of them—”