“What if he kills her?” I’m trembling, disconnected from my own body and feeling worse than I have since that night.
“Trust me, Annie. This is bad. We do nothing. Nothing. Okay? You don’t know what you saw, or why, or if any of it was real. You don’t say a word to anyone.”
I nod, let her pull me close and stroke my hair. But I can’t get the expression on Bella’s face out of my head.
FIA
Four Months at Keane
I HAD NO IDEA BOYS WERE THIS EASY.
It’s so obvious what to do, what to say, when to touch their arms, when to laugh. The only part that is a struggle is not beating them down the slopes. That aspect of flirting I am not a fan of. Turns out, I’m a natural at skiing.
Eden, much less so. Though she manages to make her constant falling into an excuse to hold hands with the older brother, Ty, as often as possible. Which leaves me with Ryan, whose face is so open even Annie could read him. I fall on purpose a couple of times and let him help dig me out of the deep powder.
“Come on, guys,” Ty says, posed aggressively next to the sign for a double black diamond trail. “Let’s do this one.”
Eden laughs. “Yeah, I’d prefer making it to the bottom in one piece, thanks.”
I can tell how nervous Ryan is, how much he wants to be the brave one, how much he doesn’t want to go down that trail.
I look at him and bite my lip. “I’d rather not.”
Relief washes over his face and he stands taller. “I’ll go with the girls. We’ll meet you at the lifts.”
“Pansy!” Ty calls as he turns and rockets down the mountain.
Eden goes ahead of us gratefully, and I smile at Ryan. “Older siblings, right?”
He fakes a laugh.
“My sister is good at everything,” I say. “Sometimes I don’t even want to try things she does because I know I won’t be as good at them. She never says anything, but I know she notices. I wish I could just do something first for once.”
“I swear Ty gets away with murder, too. If I pulled half the crap he does, I’d be grounded for life.”
“Yes! You get pushed into the ‘good child’ role, and if you ever dare do anything outside of it, it’s all ‘You know better. We’re so disappointed in you. Blah blah blah.’ One of these days I’m going to do something totally crazy, and no one is going to be able to believe it.”
He smiles, but there’s a determined set to his eyes. “Me, too.”
This is all such a lie. I know I wouldn’t be the good child. I never was. My parents depended on me, but I was in trouble more often than not. And Annie couldn’t be a more supportive older sibling.
But this foundation, this bonding? I’m going to need it later. I don’t know why, I just know I will. It’s both scary and oddly thrilling, rushing headlong into this con without knowing where it’s going.
A bit like skiing a new trail, actually.
But Ryan is so sweet, so earnest, whatever I’m going to do makes me sad.
Not sad! Not with Eden nearby. Not sad at all.
As the sun sets and dinner with the rest of the schoolgirls approaches, Eden and I hold on to the day by agreeing to let the boys buy us hot chocolate at the outdoor café. Eden is flushed and practically glowing as we wait for them.
“This is my favorite day ever.”
I remember to feel happy, too. I am happy! Feel how happy I am, Eden. “It’s been pretty awesome. How are the boys feeling about it?” I nudge her slyly. “Come on. We both know I know what you can do.”
She looks around cautiously, like maybe someone will figure out what we are talking about by the expressions on our faces. “Okay, fine. You got me. I had forgotten how amazing it is to be around a boy I like who likes me back. I can feel what he feels and what I feel, and then all the feelings compound and build on each other until it is like the ultimate high. Forget drugs—just give me cute boys.”
I laugh. “Okay, now I might actually envy you your freaky feelings thing.”