My heart thunders so fast I feel as though it could beat out of my chest.
Adoption papers.
I let the papers fall into my lap as I raise my hand to my mouth to cover a sob. Evan leans in and wraps his arms around me.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m sorry I let you leave. I should have never let you get close to the damn door. I need you, my heart needs you. Lexi Rae needs you.
After a few minutes of sobbing against his chest, listening to him reassure me that this is what he wants, I pull away. “Evan, this is . . . permanent. You’re asking me to legally be her mother.”
“Yes. I want that so much. You are her mother, McKinley. You didn’t give birth to her, but you love and nurture her, you care about her. Lexi and I would be honored for you to hold that title. You’re my wife,” he says simply.
I reach for the papers and skim them again before giving him my full attention. “Do you have a pen?” I ask.
His answer is a blinding smile as he leans in and kisses me. “I do,” he whispers. Pulling away, he reaches behind him on the table and grabs a pen. I scrawl my name, McKinley Chamberlin, by the various ‘sign here’ stickers and place the document back in the envelope.
“I love you, too,” I tell him.
To finally say the words to him is . . . freeing.
He crashes his lips to mine. “Say it again.”
I smile through my tears. “I love you, both of you.”
“I’m so fucking sorry, McKinley. Never, I’m never letting you go.”
“I couldn’t ask for more,” I tell him honestly. Evan and Lexi are all that I want. I want our little family.
Evan stands up and grabs Lex from her seat. He brings her over and sets her on my lap. She grins up at me. “Who’s got you, baby girl?” he asks her. “Does momma got you?” he asks, his voice now thick with emotion.
Lexi studies him, then looks at me. “ Momma.” She smiles and pulls at my chin.
A strangled laugh escapes my throat as I hold her tight. I’m her momma.
“Daddy,” Lexi yells when I walk through the door. I lean down and catch her as she slams into me.
“Hey, pretty girl, where’s Mommy?” She points into the living room.
I kick off my boots, so my wife doesn’t yell at me for bringing dirt into the house, and head in the direction Lexi’s little finger points. “Hey, baby,” I say when I see her stretched out on the couch. Her legs are propped up on the table. I set Lex down and she runs off to play in the corner. I take a seat next to my wife and rub her very pregnant belly. “How’s my boy?”
“He’s ready to come out.”
I grin. I’ve gotten that same answer every day for the last week. McKinley is exactly seven days overdue to deliver our son. Leaning down, I kiss her swollen belly. “Hey, little man, take it easy on your momma. We’re ready to meet you,” I tell him.
McKinley just smiles and rolls her eyes. This time around, I’ve gotten to experience it all. The cravings, the mood swings, her belly growing. I get to feel her belly against my back and my son kicking from inside her. It’s all overwhelming and amazing, and I can’t wait to do it all over again. McKinley just smiles when I say that. I know she does all the work, but I spoil her. Nightly foot rubs, I hired a housekeeper, and she even hired an assistant at the studio. Her mom keeps Lexi for us and also spoils her rotten.
“Your parents are coming in tomorrow. I’m telling you, he’s waiting for them. They need to be here this time.”
My dad is doing well. He is responding to the new treatments and, although he’s not in full remission, his doctors are hopeful. He’s doing well enough that he and Mom are flying in tomorrow to spend a week with us. They were hoping the little man would be here by now, which is why they scheduled this week. It also happens to be the right timing for Dad’s treatments.
“You might be right.”
Lexi comes running over and stops short of barreling into McKinley. “Easy, baby, your brother’s in there,” I tell her.
She gets a serious look on her face and nods. Her little lips pucker up and she kisses McKinley’s belly. “Awon Alker,” she says proudly.
McKinley and I both laugh. “That’s right, sweet girl. Your little brother Aaron Walker.”
“You sure Aaron’s not going to be pissed we’re calling him Walker?” I ask her.