“He,” I began, leaning forward and poking my finger in the air in preparation for making all my points.
“Woah, I’m gonna stop you right there,” West said with a penetrating stare. “I think it’s time for us to get some sleep before any of us say something we’ll regret.”
Fuck that. “But I—”
“Bup-bup,” Nico said with his own pointed look at me. “Honeybear is right. Let’s table this discussion for breakfast. If you still want to pontificate on Hudson’s shortcomings at that time, I’m sure his brothers will commiserate with you.”
“Honeybear?” West asked his husband as he pulled him up and led him toward the guest room. “Seriously? What about Thor or Adonis? Maybe…” His voice trailed off as they closed the door behind them.
Saint looked at me with a grin. “Ahh, now that it’s just us mice, can I get you a drink?”
I noticed how easy and open his face was. For all his big muscles, the man had a bit of a baby face. It was hard to take him seriously as the Navy SEAL-turned-bodyguard Hudson had told me he was. He was pretty easygoing and fun-loving as far as I could tell. Quite different from his oldest brother, the guy who panicked when the salt shaker was separated from the pepper.
I thought about how amazing a tumble with that big easy man would be. I could get him naked and explore miles of smooth muscle before sucking him off or demanding he suck me off.
But despite the vast difference in their looks, I could not get Hudson’s image out of my mind. I knew I’d superimpose it over Saint’s face the entire time. I’d compare one brother’s attributes to the other’s and one, namely Saint, would come up seriously lacking every time.
“No, thanks. It’s best if I call it a night,” I said with a regretful smile. “Big workweek ahead. We’re hiring all the kitchen and waitstaff. That means long nights, and I can’t stand it when Hudson has more stamina than I do.”
Saint’s eyes widened slightly, and I bit back a wince at my words. I actually would love it if Hudson had more stamina than I did in some ways. But not when it came to playing a game of “how late can we work” chicken. Or, at least, that’s what Sassy had called it one night when she brought us dinner after nine at night.
Saint stood up and then did something unexpected. He smoothed my hair down before leaning over to drop a kiss on the top of my head. “I’m assuming an offer to share my bed wouldn’t be welcome?”
I kept my eyes down and shook my head.
“You’re a good man, Charlie,” he said. “I’m sorry you’ve set your eyes on the straight one. I know how hard that is, man. I’ll grab you a pillow and blanket.”
And then he disappeared into the back of the apartment while I closed my eyes and let out a massive sigh of self-pity. He was right. It was hard as fuck in more ways than one.
I fell asleep wondering if there was a gay man on earth who hadn’t felt this shitty feeling of hopelessness. Who hadn’t in the dark of night admitted he’d fallen for the unattainable straight man. The man who, but for one pesky exception, seemed his perfect match.
It wasn’t until the ride home the following day that West brought up the subject of Darci again.
“Why was Darci at Hudson’s cabin?” Nico asked his husband.
My ears perked up. I knew Darci was the woman Hudson had dated before accidentally proposing to her with some doohickey that wasn’t really a ring. Even if Cait hadn’t told me about it back home, I would have overheard enough bits and pieces of local gossip in Hobie to piece it together.
“I don’t know,” West said. “Sassy mentioned Hudson going to pick her up from somewhere, but didn’t give me any details. I’m sorry.”
“Are they back together?” Nico asked.
My stomach dropped so quickly at the idea I thought I might be sick. I’d assumed they were back together, but hearing West and Nico speculate about it made it more real.
“I don’t know,” West said, flicking his eyes up to me in the rearview mirror before answering Nico. “You have as much information as I do.”
I looked out the window, pretending to be too bored to listen to their conversation. In reality, I hung on every word as if I were a spy overhearing secret plans for a nuclear strike.
Nico continued. “I really like her, but I’m not so sure about the two of them together long-term.”
“Agreed,” West said. “She’s a wonderful nurse. The patients love her. But I always thought she was a little too sweet for Hudson. Doc said they reminded him of that couple from Pride and Prejudice. The sister and the friend.”