No one believed it, but so far the speculation seemed to remain on concerns over his health. It was only a matter of time before the truth about Eleanor and her pregnancy came to light. In the meantime, she’d been tucked away in a country home owned by one of my father’s closest confidants and was told to stay out of the way until he was free to join her.
How in the world she put up with the bastard was beyond me.
But the news had caused intense media focus on me, of course, and the photographers went wild snapping pictures of me with Sabine on my arm. Questions were shouted about who she was and what our relationship was, and I took a moment to be grateful Sabine had been prepared ahead of time by my mother’s assistant.
Regardless of her prep, when we got inside the ballroom, Sabine’s eyes were wide and a little freaked-out.
“Are you okay?” I murmured, leaning in close so no one else could hear.
“Yes, I just… that’s… how do you get used to so many photographers and reporters in your face?”
I shrugged and gave her my most confident smile. “I don’t know any different, but I can tell you from personal experience that it gets a little easier after a glass of wine.”
Her face relaxed into a smile of gratitude as we made our way toward the closest drinks server. Once we had wine in hand, I began to introduce her around until it was time to take our seats for the formal dinner.
Sabine was charming and poised; she had a natural ability to set people at ease and seemed to connect easily with everyone she spoke to. I wanted to kick myself for having such a bad attitude about this date. She was proving to be smart, funny, sincere, and compassionate. She asked questions about the charity projects Save the Children was currently focused on and expressed genuine interest in getting involved herself. Even Hen leaned over to me at one point during dinner and remarked on it.
“She’s the total package, isn’t she?”
Despite her public smile, my sister’s sarcasm bit into me with a direct hit.
“Yes, she is. Mother chose well,” I said, trying my hardest to mean it.
Her face turned serious. “How are you holding up? I haven’t seen you much since you’ve been so busy.”
“Busy is good, Hen. Less time to wallow.” My tone was light, but she heard the truth of it.
“Have you talked to him?”
I looked around quickly and noticed Sabine had turned away from me to engage in a conversation with the person on her opposite side.
“No,” I said firmly before clearing my throat. “I dare not. At the sound of his hello, I’d fucking lose my shit, dear one.”
“Oh, Lio,” she said, and the pity in her voice was suffocating. I looked around the large ballroom, eager to find someone I could excuse myself to talk to. Unfortunately, every face I saw was someone who’d want to chat me up about my new role, and I was losing my ability to fake enthusiasm. I turned back to Hen when she spoke again.
“Have you thought about inviting him here as a friend?” Her suggestion sparked a tiny jolt of excitement in my heart until I remembered how much he despised the press.
“Believe me, I tried that, but I can’t beg him to come to paparazzi central, Hen. He hates the media, and that’s my life right now. Even if we were able to be just friends, he’d hate the scrutiny involved in being friends with the royal family.”
“Why not let him decide?”
I shook my head. “No. He’d agree. He’s sweet and selfless like that. If he thought I needed him, he’d drop everything and fly back over here.”
“He’s still in France,” she said quietly. “He decided to stay a little while after his presentation in Paris. Says he wanted to see some sights. You should reach out to him.”
The thought of Felix within a six-hour train ride from me made my throat constrict.
Why the hell does the thought of him get such a strong reaction out of me, dammit?
“I can’t,” I breathed before excusing myself and quickly striding toward the men’s room.
The rest of the night passed easily because something splintered inside of me on my way to the bathroom. It was like I became two different people. One was Lior, the smiling diplomat who was preparing to become the king and graciously responded to the well-wishes of his peers. The other was Lio, the gay man who pined for a shy Texan. That part of me hid away safely in my heart, reliving memories of touch and taste, laughter and lingering conversation by the fire. Lio was untouchable. He lived inside and stayed in a happy bubble meant only for him. Lior, on the other hand, was everything his parents had always dreamed of.