I collapse, nearly crushing her and turning away only at the last second. “Damn,” I half-laugh. “I didn’t even get my jeans off.” She lets out a small laugh with me. “We’re just getting started.”
I start to reach down and kick them off when the door to the bedroom begins to move. Thank fucking God for my lightning-quick reflexes because I’m able to throw a cover over Honey’s nude body and my exposed dick before Paige’s white face appears in the doorway.
“Mr. Bear? Honey? Didn’t you hear me calling?”
“No, Paige, we didn’t.” Honey sits up, her hair falling over her bare shoulders and the blanket clutched to her chest.
“I had a nightmare.” Paige’s eyes narrow, landing on the undies, bra, and clothes strewn around the room. She’s a baby, but she’s seen stuff at Johnny’s. She’s adding a few things together in her little mind and doesn’t like how it’s all coming together.
“You said you wouldn’t,” she accuses me. “You said that you wouldn’t drive Honey away like Daddy did with all the other girls.”
“I’m not driving her away.” Fuck. I want to drive her closer. Lock her in his house so she can never leave us. Both Paige and I need her.
“He’s not doing anything to me. I’m going to be here for you.” Honey starts to get to her feet, but I drag the blanket down so as to keep myself covered.
Paige chokes out a cry and races off. I pull up my jeans and run after the little girl. She reaches her room and slams the door shut.
“Paige.” I knock on the door. “I’m coming in.”
“No. You stay out. You’re a liar, and I don’t want to see you.”
“Paige. Don’t be this way. I’m always going to be here for you. That’s why your daddy left you in my care. He knew I’d take care of you.”
“I don’t care. I don’t want you!”
Paige’s helpless sobs are like a knife to my gut. Honey stands behind me, an anguished expression on her face. I reach out to her, but she backs away. “No. We shouldn’t have done that, Bear. We need to think of Paige.” Her eyes fill with tears too. They are both ripping me from the inside out.
“I know. I am thinking of Paige.” There’s only one solution. A fucking perfect one, if you ask me “We should get married.”
Honey’s face crumples. “I can’t. I can’t marry you.” And then she, too, runs off and slams the door, leaving me dazed and confused.
Chapter Sixteen
Honey
I almost feel bad for Bear. I don’t know how long he paces up and down the hallway, worry etched on his face. I’m sure Paige’s words are running on a loop in his mind. I know they are mine. This is all a giant mess. I still can’t believe what happened between Bear and me.
I’m blaming it on my hormones. And the fact that the past month has been super stressful with everything that happened. But I can’t think about any of that now. The main focus is making sure Paige is okay. I hate the fact that she’s hurting.
I’ve always loved little kids for as long as I can remember. Growing up in the system, they were always around. I’d bounced around homes a bit growing up and I almost always ended up giving an extra hand when it came to the little ones. I enjoyed it. Being a nanny was an easy choice for me when I graduated high school. College was more of a pipe dream.
If I ever had the chance to really go, it would have been for teaching or early education. When I’d gotten the job with the Lawrence family it was perfect. Not only did I get to be a nanny, but I got a roof over my head in a freaking dream home. They provided everything for me. It was the first time in my life that I didn’t have to worry.
While education was important to me, my real dream was to have a family of my own. To raise my own little ones. This past month living with Bear and Paige has made me realize much I truly wanted a family of my own. The three of us had fallen into this easy routine that made it feel real. Bear had really filled the shoes of fatherhood. That alone has been playing with my head.
Earlier, when he had pressed his mouth to mine, I lost all thoughts. The only thing I knew was I needed to get him inside of me. That I wanted to get lost in the fantasy of him and me being real. Hell, of all of this being real. I can’t fault him either. He’d clearly been lost in the moment too.
In all honesty, with each day that passes, I’ve fallen a little more for Bear. With the way he treats not only Paige but me too. It would be hard not to. He’s shown a side of himself that I’m sure not many people get to see. A more vulnerable one.