Kirian stares at me, open-mouthed. “What the sparklefucks are you doing?”
“I remember now,” I pant. “Just give me a second.”
He crosses his arms, which makes his muscles bulgy all over. It’s quite a thing to see him do it naked. I swear, if I weren’t so worried about the damn love glove, I’d be far more focused on the chiseled god-man in front of me. His bottom of wonders is angled at a very nice angle—a perfect angle. God, I could look at it all day. And I still want to lick it. Okay, focus. Bigger problems here and all that.
“Okay,” he says softly, using his hands again in a gesture that’s supposed to mean something like calm down. “Okay.”
“You said that already.” I keep flapping and stomping.
Kirian’s eyes get all bulgy and huge. “I know it’s your bed, and it’s a good size since it’s king-sized, but I feel like if you want to do a marching band practice or whatnot, you should really get dressed and take it outside.”
I fall to my knees, admitting defeat. I give Kirian a stare that could shrivel nuts—his nuts. Since it’s his nuts that have done this to me, kind of. I mean, I admit my part in this. I was all ready and eager, not wearing panties or a bra, climbing him like he’s the ladder to all things amazing—he kind of is—and getting all freaky, franky, and spanky. Well, I’m just kidding about the last part because we didn’t get to that, but if I ever get my current problem figured out, I have every intention of trying it out. Because with Kirian, I don’t want there to be any limits between us. I want to experience all the things I told myself I’d never be able to experience. I feel safe with him, even now.
“I remember!” I moan, sitting down hard. “I remember hearing you open the packet, and I know you put it on. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said you didn’t. I just freaked out. I’m sorry, Kirian, truly. I know you’d never do something like that.”
Kirian sits down on the bed, which causes me to shoot up a few inches. Apparently, the mattress might not be the perfect amount of not too hard and not too soft. Or maybe he’s just so overbuilt that he defies the laws of gravity.
“I remember you sliding into me, and I thought, gee, this would be so much more pleasurable without the stupid love glove because they’re dry and icky, and I just wanted to feel you, so I was cursing myself for not being on birth control. But I also don’t like taking it, so…” I trail off, rake in a long, shuddery breath, and let it out. “I remember you putting it on and going inside with it. I believe you, and I’m sorry. But now the condom isn’t on you, and it isn’t on the bed or anywhere else…” I did take a second to frantically scan the area before I sat down. “Which can only mean one thing.”
Kirian is a smart guy, and he comes to the realization quickly. I’d laugh at the way his face twists, going from puzzlement and confusion to understanding and horror. You know, if I weren’t so fucked in so many ways.
Actually, just this way for now. I can deal with all the other stuff later because this is far more pressing, so it has to come first. Or second. Because I already came…well, never mind, that’s just a shit attempt at a joke that’s not funny.
“You mean it’s up inside you?” Kirian leans over and tries to study me. He moves down on the bed and stares at my knees, which are jammed closed together. There is no way he can even see my lady cave, much less stare up it. “For real?”
“I don’t know!” I wail. “Wouldn’t you say so, though? I mean, the thing didn’t just magically vanish. Poof, now you see it, now you don’t! If it didn’t come out of me on your shizzle dizzle, then where else would it be?”
He considers it for a while, and we sit in silence while we both dream up all the possible scenarios of what could be going on inside me. “That’s rather impressive,” he finally says, and the only thing that would make that statement better is if he said it in a kind of posh butler British accent.
“Impressive?” I choke. “It’s not impressive!” I point down at the tops of my thighs. “How is it impressive? It’s bad! There’s no other word for it.”
“Do you do pelvic exercises?”
Now I get where he’s going with this. For the love of love gloves. This is a serious malfunction here. “You’re suggesting that my vag muscles are strong enough to suck a condom clean off your meat shizzle and keep it up there?”