“That is not love,” Vincent said fervently. I nodded. I hadn’t known that truth, somehow. Not until Vincent showed me.
“It was just a few days after I gave birth that he struck me for the first time again. I fell. Somehow, I landed wrong . . .”
“Your knee.”
I nodded.
“It’s the only real evidence I have that I didn’t make it all up. He was so careful not to permanently damage me. I was his property, and he couldn’t abide flaws. It’s mostly better now. But when it rains . . . or if I am standing for too long . . . it is a reminder of what I kept trying to forget.”
“I know.”
“I can’t go back to that, Vincent. I can’t go back to being owned by someone.” I touched the collar. “I can love you, but I cannot give you my autonomy. I won’t.”
“Yes.”
“I need to stand beside you, not behind you. Not under your boot. Not under your control.”
“I can’t promise I won’t make another mistake. But I promise not to treat you like that again. I won’t let my fear of losing you dictate how I treat you.”
I nodded.
“See that you don’t.”
“You still love me?” he asked. “You said it. I won’t let you take it back.”
“I do love you, Vincent. I think I always have.”
“Me too, ‘Cesca. I know that I always have. I don’t know why it took me so long to see it. And now that I know, I will never, ever stop loving you.” His lips quirked in a sideways smile. “Even if it kills me.”
The raw passion in his voice was my undoing. All my walls came crashing down just as his lips came crashing down on mine.
I felt it when our hearts collided. This was no ordinary coming together. We had both let our guard down all the way. We were open to each other in a profound way. It was as if we had peeled away every last bit of artifice and were finally truly exposed.
I’d never felt more naked.
I’d never felt more seen.
I’d never felt more loved.
And somehow, even with the collar on my neck, I’d never felt more free.
We were both breathing heavily as clothes were moved aside, not removed, simply torn and shoved so that we could get at each other like wild animals going for the kill. But we weren’t hurting each other. We were loving each other with everything we had. His chest was bare to my chest. Our mouths. Our hands. Our hips and thighs and buttocks.
My white silk pants dangled from one leg as he drove into me without preamble. Without warning. But I was more than ready for him. I wanted this rough coupling. I needed it.
I needed to feel every inch of his love for me. Every desperate touch. Every hard, claiming, possessive thrust.
We tore at each other with our lips, hands, and even our hips. He held my thighs wide while we fucked like animals on my desk. He pulled out and bent me over the desk. I went from feeling our souls collide to feeling like a secretary having an illicit fling with her boss. Or maybe he was my secretary.
Either way, it was insanely hot.
Dirty. Wrong. Delicious in every way.
It was the middle of the day, and there were guards right outside the door. But I couldn’t contain the noises that escaped me as he pulled out, flipped me over, and dropped to his knees, diving head first between my legs. He ravaged me. He wasn’t gentle. He used his teeth.
Then he stood and drove into me again. This time, he lifted me off my ass and into the air. He held me aloft, pumping his shaft in and out of me like a machine. I wrapped my thighs around him and held on tight. A moment later, and my back slammed into the wall as his thrusts took on a wild and dangerous pace.
Pictures fell. Books tumbled from a bookcase. I was pretty sure I heard the plaster on the ceiling crack.
But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except for our coming together. Our bodies. Our hearts. Our souls.
I felt him expand inside me, and my body clamped down, climaxing instantly. He made an inhuman sound of pain before he roared, hips bucking wildly as he poured his essence deep inside me. He collapsed against the wall, pinning me there as we both twitched and shuddered.
We didn’t move for the longest time.
“Woman, you are going to kill me,” he finally said into my ear.
I laughed breathlessly and kissed him.
“I will do my best not to.”
Then I slapped his face gently and pushed him away. I tried to get dressed. I turned to see that Vincent had removed the rest of his clothing.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?” he growled.