“Please, Jake. Things with Wendy ended almost a year ago,” I plead. “Before I even came back to Bliss River. I’m not the same person I was then. I swear. I know what I did was wrong, and I would never do anything like that again.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he says, the disappointment in his voice harder to take than his anger. “The fact that you could do that to someone who cared about you as much as Art obviously did…” He shakes his head. “I can’t wrap my mind around it. And honestly, I’m ashamed to call you my brother right now.”
I flinch, feeling the words like a knife through my already battered insides. “I don’t want to lose you, Jake,” I say softly. “I don’t want to miss one of the most important days of your life. Can’t we at least try to talk this out?”
“I’ll always be your brother,” he says, “but I’m not sure about anything else. I don’t have friends I can’t trust.”
I exhale, dragging a clawed hand through my hair.
“I’m off until after the honeymoon, but I’ll rework the schedules for the rest of the month so we won’t be at work at the same time,” he continues. “And I’ll ask Faith to be my contact when I’m not on duty. She can make sure the important emails are forwarded and…all the rest of it.”
“So that’s it?” I ask, anger rising inside of me. “I make one mistake and you cut me off?”
He meets my gaze with a cold look. “It’s not your first mistake, and we both know it.”
My jaw clenches.
I should have known.
I should have fucking known.
“I’m going back to work,” he says. “I suggest you get to the ER and have those cuts on your face checked out. You’re probably going to need stitches.”
I nod but don’t say a word as he turns and stalks back across the lawn and into the firehouse, followed closely by Brandon, who shoots me a last pitying look over his shoulder before he hurries inside.
I heave a sigh and spit blood onto the grass.
Yep, I should have guessed that Jake hadn’t completely forgiven me for keeping that night with Naomi a secret, no matter how innocent it was. I should have realized I was on notice and that the slightest infraction—let alone something as serious as what he learned today—would get me booted out of my brother’s circle forever.
I want to get angry and stay angry, to blame Jake for being a rigid, unyielding asshole, but I can’t.
This isn’t just about letting Jake down.
I let all of my brothers and sisters down, all of the men and women who were ever a part of my firehouse family. A family, any family, is built on trust and respect and there’s nothing more disrespectful than what I did. I deserve to suffer for my mistake, and I know I’m going to have to work hard to earn my way back into the good graces of all the people I care about.
Jake obviously isn’t ready to think about second chances right now—and he might never be, a thought that makes my heart feel like it’s full of broken glass—but hopefully Maddie will be a different story.
I know she’s upset, but she also forgave her ex-husband for his betrayal after just a few months. Now, they’re friends who exchange weekly emails, and Serge cheated on her while they were married, for God’s sake. My mistake happened before Maddie and I were even together.
And if I explain to her how clueless I was back then, how I had no idea what real love was like until I felt it with her…
Holding tight to hope, I swipe the blood from my eyes with the bottom of my T-shirt and start across the street, grateful the bakery is already closed for the day and I don’t have to worry about my battered face scaring away any of Maddie’s customers. I reach the front door—expecting to see the Closed sign and continue around to the back—but the Open sign is still in place and Lucy is sweeping up behind the counter.
I let myself in, the tinkle of the bells above the door seeming ridiculously cheerful in my current mental and physical state.
Lucy glances up, her brown eyes widening when she sees my face. “Wow, he really did a number on you, huh? Are you okay?”
I start to nod, but then shrug instead. “I don’t know. I’m looking for Maddie. Is she upstairs?”
Lucy bites her lip, her short, stubby brown pigtails twitching as she turns to look over her shoulder and then back at me. “She just scooted through the back,” Lucy whispers. “You might be able to catch her if you hurry. She told me not to say anything, but it’s obvious you two have been having a thing and it’s been making her so happy. I don’t want her to run away before she’s at least heard your side of the story.”