All he needed was to forgive himself for being fifteen. He was just a kid when Joy died. I never understood why he always carried the weight of her death on his shoulders.
I guess it’s because he’s a good guy, and good guys always blame themselves for not being better, faster, stronger. They think it’s their job to save the world.
Maybe it is Huff’s job. Now. But not five years ago.
“So, you ready to camp out with two thousand other people?” I ask.
He runs his large hand down my forearm. “I think we should stay here. Alone. I can always carry you out if it gets bad.”
Crap. He wants to have sex. I want to so badly, but I’m not ready to make those hot salacious dreams into reality. Not yet. I saw what he did to that urinal in his dorm. Imagine my baby barn.
This is a whole other discussion for another day. Like, when we can develop some test scenarios, involving masturbation and a Kevlar bodysuit for me.
“I’d rather us not take any chances,” I say, pressing my finger to my cheek.
“Why are you doing that?” he asks.
“What?”
“Mulling,” he says.
“Huh?”
“You always poke your dimple when you’re worried.” He folds his huge arms over his huge chest.
I can’t think when he does that. Ropes upon ropes of tight, rippling muscle.
He continues, “What worries you about staying here with me? Tell me, Riv.” He steps in close, placing his strong hands on my shoulders. God, he smells amazing. Like an orgasm. If an orgasm smelled like something you actually wanted to sniff and not a bunch of body fluids.
“Can we please talk about this another time when we’re not being asked to evacuate?”
He doesn’t budge. His gaze is intense.
“Huff! Come on! I’m not ready to ‘be alone.’ You’re,” I step back, “really, really big, and I’m not. So just give it a rest, okay? I love you. I am in love with you. Can’t that be enough for right now?”
His solemn expression turns into a giant, gloating grin. “Yep. Just wanted the truth.”
“Ogh! You!” I sock his arm. “Stop fucking with me.”
“I wasn’t aware that we started.”
“Stop it.”
“Stopping.” He flashes a charming smile.
“I mean it.”
“How about one more kiss? I did defy nature to be here.”
I narrow my eyes. “You can have a kiss once I’m packed and my sisters are safely in the stadium.”
“You got it. What do you need?”
I blink, and he’s holding my overnight bag in his hand.
I try not to laugh. But with him, it’s pretty hard. He makes me happy. His insanity makes me happy.
If only I knew, for sure, that was enough.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Huff
We’re in the middle of a natural disaster, and I can’t remember ever being happier. River loves me. My heart is swelling so big, I’m struggling to breathe.
No.
Not a metaphor.
I’m actually in pain, but there’s not a chance in hell I’m going to tell her something’s wrong. I’d rather die than ruin this moment—more. Ruin it more.
Seriously, man? A hurricane?
I get a text from Ronno, asking if I’m somewhere safe. Nice of him to ask. He’s actually stuck in Miami with his parents after a weekend visit.
I tell him I’m fine. And I am. This rain sucks, but at least I’m with River, and I know nothing bad will happen to her. I won’t let it.
I steal a few kisses and help her grab the necessities.
“Mouthwash?” I call out from her adjoining bathroom.
“Yes. You want to kiss me later, right?”
“Yep.” I shove the bottle in her overnight bag and then ask what’s next.
“Tampons. The big ones under the sink. You know how heavy my flow is.”
I cringe. I’ve always hated when she talks about her monthly crime scene. “Tampons? Are you sure, Riv? You don’t usually have your thing until the tenth.” I pause. “It’s really wrong that I know that, isn’t it?”
“No worse than knowing you wet your bed through the entire fifth grade!” she yells from her bedroom.
“Not cool.” I can’t help it if I kept having erotic dreams about Charlie’s Angels. For almost twelve months straight. “Just be happy my gear works. That’s all you need to worry yourself about.”
“Not worried. Just need my lady corks, Huff!”
I wince and grab the big box under the sink. This is what it’s like to have a girlfriend, Huff, I tell myself. And a wife. Just wait until we have kids. Suddenly, I’m off in future daddy land, looking at tiny faces with her eyes and my lips.
“Huff! Let’s move!” River yells.
“Sorry. Done!” I bolt to her room and hand her the bag. She shoves her other supplies inside.
We lock eyes. And I feel it. Her love.
“We have to go, stud,” she says.
“I know, but I just want to remember this.”
“This what?”
“The first day.” She knows what I mean.
“How could either of us ever forget?” She pushes herself up on her tiptoes and kisses me. “You. Me. Forever, Huff. Nothing can come between us. Not death. Not horrible people. Not even hurricanes.”