“What’s up, man? And how can I help?” I ask, giving him all my attention. I can see this talk he wants to have is important to him.
He seems to gear himself up for something difficult and then just says it. “I think I’m ready to come out to my teammates and was wondering if you had any advice,” Jason says.
He already came out to his family and close friends, but this is a huge next step. I hold up a hand to high-five. “I’ve been there. Many times. Let’s talk.”
We grab a bench, sit down, and dive in.
“How did you do it?” he asks.
I share the story of how I told the other Cougars in my first ever spring training—that was a kismet moment. “One of my teammates made a joke about whether I asked my dates to Venmo me money, and I said ‘Sometimes when I go on a date, he pays for me. But sometimes I pay for him, depending on my mood.’”
Jason beams. “Perfect answer.”
“But that situation isn’t always going to present itself. In college, I just had to sort of announce it to my team.”
“Was that hard?” he asks, his voice strained.
“Yes, but worth it.” Damn, was it ever. “Coming out isn’t always easy, but the world is changing, and every time I do come out, I’m so glad I did.”
“Me too,” he says with a smile. “But you’re pretty out now,” he adds, deadpan.
I laugh. “Yeah, it’s not a big secret who I like.”
We talk more about his school and the other kids, then run through some strategies that might work for him.
“Thanks, man. That was super helpful. You’re good at this,” he says. “Talking to kids.”
“The great thing is kids—or really, teens—are just . . . people. I like people and I like helping out.”
“When you have kids, they’re going to be so lucky. You’re going to be such a cool dad,” he says, nudging me with his elbow.
For a few seconds, I go quiet in my head, considering his compliment—the gravitas of it, but also the rightness.
His remark doesn’t shock me. Or surprise me either. Jason sees me as I am, and I’ve always known I wanted a family.
I flash a smile. “You know? I would be a good dad.” Then I add, “Someday.”
Down the road.
By the time I say goodbye, my day has officially taken a 180 from last night.
I take off for Petaluma, blasting my pop music as I drive away from the city and toward my hometown, my mind hopscotching to the game tomorrow, then to Declan’s return at the end of the week, then to faraway somedays.
I’m in a better place than I was last night.
When I reach my grandparents’ home, I pull over, park, and unlock my phone. I’m greeted with a notification of a new story.
I click the link and groan in misery.
Weasel Face strikes again.
14
Grant
I march into the house, brandishing my phone. “Pops, you’ve got to hear this.”
My grandpa looks up from the cutting board where he’s slicing cucumbers and carrots next to a big bowl of lettuce. Cradling her phone, my grandma waves hello as she ducks into the living room to schedule what sounds like a Scrabble game with a friend.
I turn to my grandfather as I waggle the phone again. “This is ridiculous.”
Setting down the knife, Grandpa places a hand on my shoulder, turns me around, and ushers me toward the front door. “Let’s go for a walk, son.”
Fine. A walk might help. I need to burn off this frustration.
He opens the screen door, and we walk down the front steps and into the summer evening. The scent of cut grass hangs thick in the July evening, but I’m not in the mood to enjoy it as I tap the phone screen. “Listen to what Troy Evans said in this new blog report.” I mimic the reporter’s scratchy voice, reading the headline first. “Most Valuable Player or Most Valuable Partner? Exactly which one is Declan Steele?” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “He goes on to talk about Declan’s batting average against the Cougars this year, and it’s over .500, compared to Deck’s .251 lifetime batting average against the team when he was a Comet. As if us being together is the reason.”
“Hmmm,” my grandpa says. “That’s a little silly.”
“Just a little,” I say, still seeing red as I point to the offending story once more. “He has the gall to suggest I share tips on how to hit pitches from any team, any pitcher, and that Declan could then share those with Holden and the rest of the Dragons. Like that’s the only reason Declan is having a good season, and by extension, the rest of the Dragons too. Then this guy Evans finishes, ‘and where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Could this be the start of another sign-stealing scandal?’”