“Congratulations,” he said.
“Thank you.”
“Your people must be happy.”
“They are.”
“You should be proud. You were amazing in the Council.”
“Thank you, but I had help. I couldn’t have done it all by myself.”
Jamil almost laughed. Gods, this was ridiculous. Why couldn’t they speak about what they really wanted to say?
“I think there’s something wrong with me,” he whispered, looking at the ocean. “I feel like I’m about to jump out of my skin, like I’m about to fall apart if you touch me—or don’t touch me. What is wrong with me?”
Rohan sighed. “That’s the downside of indulging in too many telepathic merges with one partner. Your body starts craving it. Normally, it never becomes this bad, but we’ve been apart too long and it probably didn’t help that I wore a bond inhibitor for a while.”
Jamil frowned. So that was why he hadn’t been able to feel Rohan when he returned to Calluvia as Lord Tai’Lehr.
“You aren’t wearing a bond inhibitor anymore.”
“No,” Rohan said, his hands gripping the railing.
Jamil stared longingly at them. He wanted them on his body so badly his insides literally ached for it. He looked away, trying to distract himself. “But it was nowhere near this bad the first time you left.”
“The first time I left, we weren’t lovers,” Rohan said. “We were barely friends. There’s an emotional element to a merge addiction. The stronger the emotional ties, the stronger it is. We had gotten… very close before I left the second time.”
Jamil snorted a laugh. “Is that your way of saying that I was ridiculously clingy and couldn’t spend a few hours without your mind or cock in me?”
Rohan groaned quietly. “I can’t believe people think you’re very proper. Ice Prince, my ass.”
Smiling crookedly, Jamil allowed himself to glance sideways at him.
He realized his mistake as soon as they locked eyes, Rohan’s gaze heavy and dark with want.
Jamil swallowed.
“I was ridiculously clingy, too,” Rohan said with a wry smile, his hand lifting and hovering by Jamil’s face. “And unlike you, I should have known better. I knew it would make everything harder when I would have to leave, but I didn’t do a damn thing to put distance between us. I was selfish.” His fingers finally touched Jamil’s cheek, the touch barely there. It made Jamil shiver uncontrollably.
“I’m still selfish,” Rohan said. “I should be in the ballroom, watching my best friend’s back, not here, putting my greedy hands all over you.”
Jamil’s eyes slipped closed as Rohan’s fingers ran over his trembling lips.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Rohan said hoarsely. “I could stare at you forever. Marry me.”
Jamil’s heart jumped.
He opened his eyes. “So that you could stare at me forever?” he tried to joke, but it came out embarrassingly unsteady.
Rohan’s dark, intense gaze seemed to burn him. “Among other things. Marry me, love.” His knuckles brushed against Jamil’s cheek. “Divorce is possible now. I told you I’d do it for you, didn’t I?”
“There’s no need to be so smug,” Jamil said with a small, helpless smile, his heart full of adoration. Fuck, he loved this man. It scared him how much he loved him.
“I’m not smug,” Rohan said, his lips twisting. “I’m actually pretty scared of what I’m capable of for you. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but I’d do them all over again, and more, for the privilege of calling you mine.”
With a defeated sound, Jamil buried his face in Rohan’s shoulder. “Ugh, why do you have to be so perfect? I was trying to be good and stay away from you until my divorce is finalized, but of course you had to ruin my good intentions.”
Rohan laughed and engulfed him in a bone-crushing hug that took his breath away. It still wasn’t enough. But then again, Jamil was beginning to suspect he would never get enough of this man. His eyes stinging from the mix of happiness and accumulated pain of the past months, Jamil whispered fiercely, “I’m never letting you out of my sight again.” His fingers dug into Rohan’s shoulder blades before running over the width of his back. He couldn’t get enough. Jamil breathed deeply, feeling drunk on him, unable to believe Rohan was finally here, in his arms. “I missed you so much. So fucking much. Tmynne missed you too, but I missed you more.”
Rohan let out a laugh, nuzzling his hair. “How can you know for sure? Tmynne is a baby. She can’t tell you how much she missed me.”
It’s impossible for anyone to miss you more than I did. He didn’t say it. He didn’t need to.
He felt a fierce wave of protectiveness and love that wasn’t his own, Rohan’s emotions leaking through his shields. “Marry me,” Rohan said tightly, running his fingers through Jamil’s hair. He kissed the side of Jamil’s face, his lips trembling, desperate. “Be with me. Be mine. Say yes.”