Seyn squeezed Harry’s shoulder, worry rolling off him in waves. Harry was more concerned by the fact that he didn’t feel very concerned.
“And you’re absolutely certain that the cause is the throwback gene?” Ksar said.
“There is always a margin for error, but I am ninety-nine-point-two percent certain,” the AI replied. “Besides the aforementioned hormone in his system, there are significant changes in the young prince’s herovixu, the area of the brain that is specific for throwbacks.”
Ksar’s lips folded into a thin line before his eyes fixed on Harry. “Talk to me, kid. Is it really that bad?”
Harry moistened his dry lips. “I—I don’t know. I haven’t even noticed that I zone out for hours. But I feel...” He struggled to explain it. “I feel like there’s a hole in me that’s sucking me in from the inside out.”
Ksar’s face was grim. “And that’s because of him? The Terran?”
Harry flinched, curling into himself. He didn’t want to talk about Adam. Even thinking about Adam hurt. He wasn’t sure he could talk about Adam without breaking down and begging Ksar to let him go back to Earth. He couldn’t be so selfish. He wouldn’t be so selfish. He wouldn’t ruin his family with his selfishness. It would be pointless anyway, because Ksar had been right: the Council and the Ministry would never let him live on Earth, and he couldn’t—wouldn’t—keep dicking Adam around when he couldn’t stay on Earth permanently. It would be selfish. Adam deserved better. Adam deserved someone who could make him happy. Someone who could be honest with him.
So what was the point in talking about it?
“Does it matter?” Harry said, barely moving his lips.
Ksar’s eyes narrowed. All it took was one look, and Harry’s flimsy mental shields collapsed, allowing his brother in. Harry didn’t resist. He didn’t think he could even if he wanted to.
Finally, moments or hours later, Ksar left his mind.
Ksar’s jaw was clenched, his expression vaguely sick. “Your mind is a mess. Some parts of it don’t react to stimuli at all. Borg’gorn is right. Your mind is dying, Harht.”
Harry stared at his brother blankly.
Seyn pulled Harry closer, projecting comfort and protectiveness. “You are going to do something to help him, right?” he said, looking at Ksar.
Harry shook his head. What could Ksar do? Ksar might have been the Crown Prince of their grand clan and the Lord Chancellor of their planet’s branch of the Ministry, but he didn’t have the power to protect him from the Council or the Ministry. No one did.
The legal troubles aside, the scandal alone would destroy their family if other Calluvians found out about Adam.
“Don’t worry about me,” Harry said. “I won’t disgrace our family.”
Ksar closed his eyes for a moment. “Harht—”
“I know,” Harry said, biting his lip to keep it from trembling. He was a little afraid of dying, after all, but he almost welcomed the fear. It was better than the dull apathy and hunger without a name.
“But can’t we just smuggle him to Earth?” Seyn said. “Like I did?”
“And then what?” Ksar said coldly. “It’s impossible to delete the teleporter’s history. Sooner or later, Harht would be found, and the consequences would be much worse. And even if he wouldn’t be found, he’d never be able to step foot on his home planet and see his family. Is that the sort of life you want for him? Do you think he would be happy to live like that, with all his familial links gone? Telepaths are not meant to live without thelepathic communication for long stretches of time. He would be miserable.”
Seyn’s chin lifted. “At least he would be alive and sane. We must do something!”
Ksar went very still. “We won’t do anything,” he said testily. “You will go home and keep your mouth shut about everything you’ve heard.
“How can you be so heartless?” Seyn exclaimed, getting to his feet. “He’s your brother!”
“Yes,” Ksar said. “He’s my brother, and this is a family issue. You’re not family. Leave. You overstayed your welcome a long time ago.”
Seyn flushed with fury and humiliation before storming out.
“Why are you always so nasty to him?” Harry murmured.
Ksar’s face closed off. “That’s irrelevant. We have more important things to discuss.”
“What important things?” Harry said, looking down at his hands. What was there to discuss, really? He was dying or going to become a vegetable. Harry almost hoped he would die; that seemed to be the better option. He didn’t want to be a burden to his family.
He would never see Adam again, anyway. He hadn’t been able to say goodbye to him in person, and now he never would. Adam would never know that Harry was gone. Adam probably wouldn’t care, anyway. Adam probably hated him. Of course Adam hated him. Adam had probably forgotten him already. Adam had probably fallen in love with someone else. Someone human. Someone normal. Someone who—