Anyway, renegades were the only people on Calluvia who didn’t have childhood bonds. Harry had always thought that renegades were wrong. The fact that there hadn’t been any conflicts like that again proved that the Bonding Law was right. It had been scientifically proven that bonding children’s telepathic cores made their telepathy more stable and their tempers milder. Sociologists insisted that childhood bonds had basically saved their society from self-destruction—something that happened to too many advanced civilizations.
But how could he explain it to Samantha? Especially since Harry didn’t fully understand how the bond worked. There was very little information on the bond in the public database. Why did the bond prevent people from feeling attraction? Why were some bonded people capable of feeling some sexual attraction while others couldn’t feel a thing until the bonding ceremony? What happened during the bonding ceremony? How did a childhood bond become a marriage bond? Harry had asked his brother once, but Ksar had said that Harry didn’t really want to know. When Harry had asked his mother, she had just given him an odd look and changed the subject. It was so weird. Why were they so tight-lipped about it? What were they hiding? Why?
“I’m engaged, remember?” Harry said, for lack of anything better to say.
“Please,” Samantha said with a scoff. “In all the time you’ve worked here, she’s never called you, Harry. What kind of relationship is that?”
Harry winced. He hated that he couldn’t defend Leylen’shni’gul. But revealing that he wasn’t human and effectively making an unauthorized Contact with Terrans would be a violation of one of the most important intergalactic laws. Even if Harry didn’t get arrested for that, he had no doubt the scandal would be used as a weapon by his mother’s political enemies. If his mother didn’t kill him for putting her in such a weak position, Harry’s brother would.
“It’s not Leyla’s fault that she’s unable to keep in touch,” Harry said. It was true. Lately he could barely feel the bond between them. Their telepathic connection had disappeared immediately upon his arrival on Earth, but he had still been able to feel their bond at the back of his mind, like a constant reassuring presence. However, as the time passed, the bond had gradually weakened, and Harry was afraid it would fade completely soon, just like his links to his family had upon his arrival. Granted, he had never heard of a childhood bond fading completely. It was pretty common for weaker telepathic connections to fade if the physical distance was too big to maintain them, but the childhood bond was too strong for that. As far as Harry knew, it never happened. And yet, his mind was so very quiet lately, for the first time in his life. Coupled with the distance between him and Adam, this was the most depressed Harry had ever felt.
Harry sighed at the thought of Adam.
“I don’t buy it,” Samantha said.
It took Harry a moment to remember what they were talking about. Right. His bondmate’s “neglect” of him.
“It doesn’t bother me,” Harry said with a shake of his head. Why couldn’t Samantha concentrate on the real issue? “Adam is attracted to me. What should I do?”
She gave him a look. “What do you mean? If you don’t want him, just tell him so, and move out of his place.”
“No,” Harry said, his brows drawing together. He didn’t want to move out. He loved living with Adam, and he wanted to live with him for as long as he could—while he still could. His parents might recall him any day now.
His stomach knotted at the thought. He missed his family terribly, but the thought of leaving Adam made him feel ill and panicky.
Noticing the odd expression on Samantha’s face, Harry said, “What?”
“Harry,” she said slowly. “You do understand that it must be... uncomfortable for him, right? Unreciprocated attraction is no joke. It must be hard for him to live with you.”
“I…” Harry swallowed. “I do. That’s why I’m asking advice. I don’t want to hurt him.”
Samantha sighed. “I don’t know what to say. That’s a tough situation. Are you sure you aren’t attracted to him at all? When I see you with him, his attraction to you doesn’t really look unrequited.”
Harry chuckled. “Don’t be silly!”
“Silly?” she said, her voice full of exasperation. “Haz, you show the classic signs of attraction: you angle your body toward him, you smile looking him in the eye, you are constantly all over him, you find the lamest excuses to touch him. Just a few days ago, I saw you nuzzling his neck and you looked like you were getting off on it! Frankly, the fact that you are not attracted to him is more surprising to me. Are you sure you aren’t?”
“I’m—I’m,” Harry stammered, his mind racing. “I think so?”