“Damn,” Dad sighed. “I was hoping she wouldn’t notice them.”
All four of us stopped at the same time and stared at him like he’d lost his mind—which he had.
“You’ve got blood on your top.” I pointed at the marks all over it. “And grass and mud. You’re also holding napkins that need to be swapped for new ones because the blood’s seeped through them. And like that’s not enough, even I can see the lump and bruise on the side of your neck, and I’m standing right in front of you. Mom has special powers, she knows when we’re sick, so I’m thinking you’re screwed.”
Almost like talking about her conjured Mom to appear, her voice said, “Dolf, what happened? Are you okay? Oh, my God, you’re bleeding.” Dad winced as she pulled the napkins away from his head and inspected the wounds. “Is that a lump on your neck?”
“See…” Dad started and then faltered while he thought up an excuse. When he just opened and closed his mouth, Mom leaned around the side of him to inspect the lump.
Spinning to glare at us, she gave us ‘the look.’ Gloria Klein’s special look made grown men clench down to stop the smell of their fear from getting stronger. A quick glance at my brothers showed they were doing the same thing, even Canon and Jarrod.
“What did you do?”
“We didn’t do anything, Mom,” Jarrod held his hands up in front of his body. “The Townsends set it up for us to do something dumb called field surfing, and Dad wanted to give it a try.”
“That’s after he got hit in the neck by a golf ball instead of shooting it,” Reid added, ignoring the glares coming from Dad.
Putting her hands on her hips, Mom snapped, “And what’s this field surfing thing?”
“The Townsends thought it up,” Canon supplied, and Mom’s expression tightened farther. “They had old surfboards with no fin on them, so they tie them to an ATV. One person stands on it while another drives the ATV across the field.”
Slowly, oh, so fucking slowly, she turned back to Dad. “You stood on a surfboard and got pulled by an ATV across a field?”
Dad mulled it over like he was looking for a hole in the story that’d save his ass. Finally, he conceded defeat. “Yeah, that’s pretty much what happened. But I almost won the competition.”
Because she had her back to us, we couldn’t see her expression. But whatever happened made Dad take a step away from her.
“You listen to me good, Dolf Klein. You’re going to go and sit down while I get the first aid kit. The Townsends will likely have everything we need because they’re so accident-prone. After that, you will not scream or flinch or tell me it’s clean and try to get up. You’ll sit there while I clean those cuts out and make sure you don’t need God damn stitches in your head. Once I’m satisfied, we’ll patch you up and get back to eating the lovely meal I’m sure they’ve spent hours making for us all.”
Dad looked relieved at what his penance was. That was until she hissed, “And when we get home, I’ll deal with your stupidity and immaturity then.”
And with that, she walked back to the house, catching Colette’s attention, and explaining what’d happened. Colette looked nervously over at us, saw the soiled napkins still being held to Dad’s head, and then sighed and turned to go back into the house. On her way, she stopped Jack, and their exchange didn’t look friendly at all.
“Man, I’m glad I don’t have to answer to someone like that,” Reid snickered. “If I cut myself or do dumb shit, I only have to apologize to me.”
Canon looked over at him incredulously. “Like you don’t have to answer to Mom, dumbass.”
Shrugging, he said, “That’s different. At the end of it, I go home to my own place, and it’s over. Dad has to go home with the pissed off psycho wife and sleep next to her.”
“Thanks,” Dad said wryly. “That makes me feel so much better.”
Missing the sarcasm, Reid said over his shoulder, “It shouldn’t. She’s got a hot Jamaican temper, so your ass is toast.”
Every word he’d just said was accurate, and judging by the look on Dad’s face, he knew life was going to be slightly uncomfortable when they left here.
“I’m glad we didn’t do it,” Canon mumbled as we followed after Reid. “That surfing was fucking insane.”
“What did you expect from the Townsends?” Jarrod drawled. “Insanity’s their spice of life.”
“Speaking of insanity,” Reid drawled, looking around Canon at me. “We had to break down Heidi Du Plessis’ door this week. There was a call about an accident inside it, and when we got there, all we could hear was screaming, so we knocked it down so the fire department could get inside.”