Closing the door, I kick off my shoes and lie down next to her, pulling her into my arms. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
“I’m sorry,” she counters. “I didn’t know, Ford. I promise I didn’t know.”
“Shh, baby, I know. I believe you.” I can feel her relax in my arms, and it hits me that she’s worried about history repeating itself. She’s worried I’m going to assume that she knew and blame her. Just like this entire fucking town, excluding Chad’s immediate family, assumed she knew that man she was seeing was married.
“I love you. I love you so much,” I whisper, placing a kiss on her temple. “I’ve never been more scared in my entire life. I’m in the army, Shayne. I’ve been in some situations, but this… this is the worst of them all. Knowing that you needed me and I didn’t know if I would be able to be here. We’re not married, hence all the hoops that we had to jump through. I hate that we had to do that. I’m sorry. I wish I could have been here sooner.”
“That’s a situation out of your control, and you’re here now.”
“Do you know? I mean, was it a boy or a girl?” I ask the question that’s been running through my mind since the moment I found out.
“They’re not sure. I wasn’t very far along. They had to send the—” She swallows hard. “They have to do lab work to see if there was anything genetic or otherwise. It will depend on the development if they can tell us the gender.”
“Are you okay?”
“My heart hurts, but I’m okay. Better now that you’re here.” She snuggles close. “I was worried about maybe not being able to have more in the future. The doctors have assured me that shouldn’t be an issue, but they will know for sure when the pathology comes back. I need to follow up with my OB-GYN in a few days.”
“Good. I’m glad I can be there with you.”
“How long are you here for?”
“They gave me five days. I don’t know if you want to do a memorial or something? I mean, I don’t know how all of this works.”
“I don’t know either. I don’t think so. Maybe at some point, but I’m still adjusting to the idea that I found out I was pregnant and lost the baby all in the same day.”
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”
“You’re here now, and I know that if you could have been, you would have.” She yawns.
“You tired?”
“Yeah. They have me on a mild painkiller, and they always make me sleepy.”
“I’m drained. I didn’t sleep last night, so why don’t we take a nap?”
“Will you hold me?”
“Try to stop me.” Kissing her lips softly before climbing out of bed, I pull the blinds, and strip out of my jeans and move to lie next to her, sliding under the covers.
“Not the visit we were hoping for,” she says with sadness in her voice.
“No. But you’re in my arms, Shayne. I can feel your breath on my neck and your heartbeat beneath my palm. I wanted our baby. The minute I heard what happened, I was devastated for what we lost, but we still have each other, and we will get through this. I promise you that.”
“Together,” she mumbles.
“Together,” I repeat. I don’t want to sleep. I want to hold her and just be with her, but exhaustion wins as I drift off with her safe in my arms.
Chapter 30
Shayne
“You ready?” Ford asks, squeezing my hand.
We’re standing outside the bar, the stairs leading to my apartment before us. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since I was last here, yet it feels like a lifetime ago.
Uncle Henry came early this morning and gathered my mom’s stuff. He tried to do it without me knowing, but I overheard him and Aunt Joan talking in the kitchen after I woke up. When I went downstairs, he tried to change the subject, but I wouldn’t let him. He ended up sharing his plan to gather her belongings and drop them off at Bull’s place, explaining that he didn’t want to cause me more pain. I love him more because of it.
“I think so,” I finally reply, gazing up at the stairs.
Ford leads me to the door and holds it open. As I step over the threshold, I find Jet waiting. “Hey, kid,” he says, instantly pulling me into his tattoo-covered arms.
I go willingly, so grateful for the gruff older man who has become a friend, an extension of my family. “Thank you,” I whisper, my face pressed against his chest.
He pulls back and gives me a small smile as he releases me. “I’ve got you.” Then he takes Ford’s hand and gives it a few pumps.
“Appreciate all you do for her.”
Jet grins. “She’s a good kid. You take care of her, or you’ll have to deal with me.”