She didn’t need him for anything, apparently. She was making her own money, she had her family and friends, and now she had found a place to live. She hadn’t really even needed him when he’d brought her to his home on New Year’s Eve. She’d been perfectly willing to stay at the motel with the biker gang hanging around in the parking lot. And she probably would have been just fine.
He’d been deluding himself to think that he had anything to offer a woman like Nicole Holiday. She was the most independent and self-sufficient woman he’d ever met. His money and social position, which would have been so enticing and attractive to some women, meant little or nothing to Nicole. He couldn’t hold her with them.
She was a woman who was accustomed to being needed. And he didn’t know how to tell her how very badly he needed her.
“Andrew?”
Keeping his expression impassive, he looked at her. “Yes?”
Her dark eyes searched his face. He couldn’t read her thoughts any more than he wanted her to know his. He thought he heard her give a faint sigh.
“Never mind,” she said.
He nodded and tossed his shirt into a corner, knowing that Martha would efficiently find and replace the missing button.
“Are you going to your office in the morning?”
He nodded. “Probably. I have some things I need to do.”
He might as well get back into his old routine, he thought grimly. The more accustomed he became to Nicole’s company, the more he would miss her when she was gone.
“I suppose I’ll do some laundry and run errands tomorrow morning. I have to be at work at five.”
He nodded again. “I should probably be back before then. Unless something comes up at the office, of course.”
She was still looking searchingly at him. He knew he seemed suddenly remote to her. It was a long-standing habit of his to withdraw inside himself when his emotions threatened to embarrass him. He’d been doing so since childhood, when he’d worried that he might behave inappropriately and draw the disapproval of his father or grandfather. He’d been hiding his emotions for so long that there were times he hardly knew how to recognize them himself.
>
Nicole stood and walked to him, her gaze locked on his face. He’d never been particularly adept at reading other people’s feelings, either; he wished he knew hers now. She was looking at him so seriously. He almost thought he saw a touch of sadness in her eyes...and maybe sympathy? Surely not.
And then she looped her arms around his neck and rose to kiss him. “Come to bed, Andrew,” she said quietly. “It’s late.”
Her words had a somberly prophetic tone that he didn’t want to acknowledge. In a vain attempt to stave off reality, he wrapped his arms around her and hid his face for a long moment in her hair, trying to pretend that he would never have to let her go.
WITH A TOWEL wrapped loosely around his waist, Andrew was shaving the next morning when Nicole received a telephone call. She took the call on his bedroom extension. Since he was in the connecting bath, the door open between them, he couldn’t help but overhear her side of the conversation, though he made no effort to eavesdrop. Of course, he made no effort not to hear her, either.
“Hi, Mom!” she said. “How’s it going with Palmer?”
Andrew heard her groan. “He didn’t,” she said. “Oh, Mom, that’s terrible...He said what?...Why, that fink! When are you coming back to Memphis?”
There was a long pause, and then Nicole gave a hefty sigh. “All right. I’ll wire you some money this afternoon ... No, that’s okay, I have a little to spare...No, really, don’t worry about it ...You’ll be here at the end of next week? I should have an apartment by then. You can stay with me until you find a place of your own.”
Andrew rinsed off his razor, grimly shaking his head. He didn’t know whether to be sorry for Nicole or annoyed with her for letting her family take such advantage of her. Who else was she helping out besides her sister, her mother, her cousin and her great-uncle? No wonder she had so little money left over for herself from her modest wages.
Not that she minded; it was obvious that she loved her family dearly and that she was the one who volunteered assistance. Having met most of them, Andrew understood why she was so fond of them. He rather liked them, too. But Nicole deserved more than to work long, exhausting hours just to give all her earnings away.
It was only his fear of offending her that kept him from offering financial help. He left for work still trying to decide how to do so without making it seem as though he were trying to buy her love.
NICKY TOOK advantage of after-holiday sales to make a few prudent, much-needed additions to her wardrobe Saturday morning. She stopped at a department store that had advertised three pair of panties for ten dollars, and was studying the sale merchandise when a wicked black nightie caught her eye.
She couldn’t resist touching it, letting her fingertips trail down the short, silky length of the garment as she imagined herself wearing it for Andrew.
Would he like it? Probably. Would he tell her so? Probably not in words.
Andrew seemed to have a slight problem expressing himself verbally. She had very much hoped that he would put up at least a token protest when she’d said she was moving out. She was honest enough to admit to herself that it wouldn’t take much for him to talk her out of it. But he had to say the words. She wouldn’t continue living with him without some indication on his part that her presence meant something to him.
She refused to be an imposition to him, or a mere physical convenience, or someone he took for granted in his home, the way he did his long-time housekeeper. She wanted him to truly care about her.