“How old were you?”
“I was almost seventeen. Olivia had just turned fifteen.”
“And you blame yourself? Even though the other teen driver ran the light?”
“I don’t blame myself, exactly. The boy was at fault. But if I’d been more experienced, maybe a little less distracted by something Olivia was saying or by trying to decide where to eat…”
“You do blame yourself. That’s a heavy burden to carry, Jacqui.”
“I carried it a long time,” she admitted. “I’ve learned to let it go. Most of the time.”
“The other driver—was he injured?”
“Yes. He had a head injury that was expected to cause him lifelong challenges. I don’t know how he’s done since, haven’t really wanted to find out. It was a tragedy for him and his family, too. He was just a pampered kid, driving too fast in a car that was too powerful for a boy his age. Some friends were following him in another car, and he was showing off for them. They’re the ones who called the paramedics.”
“It must have been a horrible time for you and your parents.”
“It was. His insurance covered the hospital bills and the funeral and supported my parents for a couple of years, but it couldn’t soothe the pain of their loss.”
“Or yours.”
“No.”
He suspected that Jacqui hadn’t received a penny of that money, other than to pay her hospital bills. “What happened after that? With you and your family, I mean?”
“After a few months, Dad needed to move on. Running, that time. Mom started packing, the way she always does, but I told them I’d had enough of wandering aimlessly from place to place. I was ready to find someplace and stay awhile. I found a job at a restaurant, and I stayed behind when they left. It was the best choice for all of us.”
“And you were seventeen?”
“Yes.”
“Still so young.”
“I’ve always been old for my age.”
She’d had reason to be, he thought, guessing from some of the things she’d said about her parents that she must have been placed in charge of her younger sister from the time she was quite young. Which would have made her feel even more responsible for Olivia’s death. “I’m very sorry about what you’ve been through, Jacqui.”
She shook her head impatiently. “Other than losing my sister, I haven’t had such a bad life. My parents have their faults, but they never treated us badly. I’ve had jobs I liked, met some great people in my travels—like the sweet neighbor who taught me how to knit when I was a kid and my friend who owns the boutique and sells my work there. I have a couple of good friends here— I’m having lunch with my friend Alexis this Saturday. I liked my last job for Mr. Avery in Hot Springs, and I love working for your sister’s family. I have nothing, really, to complain about, though I do miss Olivia, of course.”
She was so determined not to be pitied. He understood her well enough by now to know she valued her competence and independence, and he couldn’t blame her for that. She’d been on her own a long time—even before that physical separation from her parents, he thought. She’d made her own way in the world and had done so quite successfully. She deserved to take pride in that.
“You know, I think I am hungry after all.” She rolled abruptly and reached for her clothes. “I’ll take the bathroom first. You can wash up while I cook.”
He lay on his back, his arms akimbo behind his head. “Take your time.”
He would just lie here for a while longer, thinking about some of the things she had said and wondering where they would go from here.
Chapter Ten
Jacqui felt as though she were living a double life. She continued to report to work at the usual time and performed her usual duties once there. She cleaned and did laundry, chauffeured Alice for some back-to-school shopping, wrestled Waldo into the car for a visit to the vet for his annual shots, ran errands and cooked dinners for the family before leaving every evening. She doubted that anyone in the family had any suspicion at all that her life had changed dramatically during the past week.
She saw Mitch nearly every day. Saying he thought it was better for all concerned, he’d moved out of his sister’s house the day after Meagan and Seth returned from their trip. His mother had urged him to stay with her, but he’d chosen instead to check into a hotel near the hospital until he could make more permanent arrangements. He’d told his mother that he didn’t want to disturb her with his erratic work hours, but Jacqui knew he had moved into the hotel so no one knew he was spending most of his free time with her.
She had made him promise not to tell anyone they were spending time together. Much less that they had become lovers. Although he’d argued that he didn’t care who knew he was seeing Jacqui, he had conceded to her request. He thought she was putting off telling everyone because she needed time to adjust to the change in their relationship. Time to get used to thinking of them as a couple before letting anyone else see them that way.
What would he think, she wondered, if he knew she was keeping their affair a secret because she fully expected it to be short-lived and hoped to avoid as much awkwardness as possible when it inevitably ended? Would he accuse her of conceding defeat before they even had a chance to make it work, or would he secretly appreciate that she was trying to spare him discomfort with his family?
As much as she was trying to protect her heart, she knew she was