“Speaking of Cassie, she told me your dress is almost ready. I think she’s going to call you tomorrow evening to set up a time to deliver it to you and take your picture in it for her portfolio.”
“I can’t wait to see it. I’ll definitely make time for her.” Bonnie wasn’t sure if Cassie could wait until her shower on Sunday to take the photos for her class, but surely there would be a half hour or so beforehand when they could take care of it. “Tell her to call me anytime.”
“I’ll pass along the message.”
“Have fun on your ride with her tomorrow,” she said, hearing a hint of wistfulness in her own voice. “It’s nice that you can enjoy another father-daughter adventure before she moves away.”
“Did your dad ever take you on bike rides?”
“Not that I remember. Dad’s what some people call a foodie. He always treated us to the most exotic restaurant he could find while he was in town to have us sample foods that were out of our usual experience. He complained about what he called a lack of true variety in the Knoxville area, but really there were quite a few interesting international food choices. And he almost always took us to Dollywood in Pigeon Forge when he was in Tennessee, usually once every summer, though sometimes he was gone more than a year at a time. He’s a big Dolly Parton fan,” she added with a slightly hollow laugh.
She didn’t hear an answering smile in Paul’s voice. “When was the last time you saw him?”
“He was here the weekend we reopened to guests. That will be two years ago in November, so it’s been a year and eight months or so. I talked to him fairly recently by phone, though, and he sends email updates and photos from his travels. He’s been exploring Australia and New Zealand since he left here.”
“If you don’t mind my asking, how does he support himself when he’s globe-trotting?”
“He has a couple of import and export partners here in the States. Dad makes overseas connections and they handle U.S. distribution. I’ve never asked a lot of questions, frankly, but he seems to get by okay. I know he sent money to our mother regularly when we were growing up. All of us refused to accept any more from him after we turned eighteen, though we encouraged him to stay in touch with us. We attended college on scholarships and work programs, but we felt uncomfortable taking money from him when he’d never been that much a part of our lives.”
“It had to have been tough for you and Kinley and Logan, growing up without your dad in your life,” he said a bit tentatively. “For the most part, I mean.”
“Harder for Logan, I think. I was so young when he left that I can’t say I pined for him, exactly, since I didn’t really remember him being there full time. But yeah, I missed having a full-time dad in my life. I was never surprised, but always disappointed when he left after his visits. I’d have loved to have been as close to him as you are with Cassie. You’ve done a wonderful job staying involved with her even though you weren’t married to her mom.”
“I’m sorry you didn’t have a better relationship with your father.”
“It’s certainly not at all the kind of relationship I’d want for my own children and their father,” she admitted, then added firmly, “But we had a great childhood. We adored our mom, and we had our great-uncle Leo, who was like a dad to her and a grandfather for us. We had busy social lives in Knoxville, and I had my big brother to watch out for me—a responsibility he always took very seriously.”
Paul cleared his throat. “Yeah, I might have noticed that.”
She laughed. “He’s not really so scary. He just likes to growl—sort of like his dog.”
He paused a moment, then said, “I guess I should let you get some rest. I’m sure you have an early start planned for tomorrow.”
“The usual,” she admitted. “I’m glad you called. I really hated having to rush away from you th
e way I did.”
“I know. And as much as I understood, I regretted it, too.” His deep tone gave her a hint of the way he’d have preferred the evening to end, instead. Which would not have included her sitting in her bed alone at the moment, she thought with a swallowed sigh.
“Would you be free to join me for dinner Thursday evening?” she asked hopefully. “We’ll have a full inn and there’s an event scheduled, so I can’t go far in case anything comes up, but we could eat at Bride Mountain Café, or I could cook. I mean, I have to eat, right?”
Perhaps it wasn’t the most graceful invitation, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I’d like that. I’ll even treat at the café so you don’t have to cook.”
“Why don’t we meet here at six-thirty, then? We can leave your car here and walk down to the café.” And she would insist on treating, since it had been her idea, but she saw no reason to argue with him about that just now.
“Sounds good.”
“Good night, Paul.”
“Sleep well, Bonnie.”
As if she could, she thought, setting her phone on the nightstand and hoping there were no more frantic calls that night. Something told her she would be thinking about Paul long into the wee hours.
After all her blithe promises to her siblings—and to herself—that she would be cautious, would guard her heart and not invest too much too soon, she was very much afraid she was foolishly falling in love with Paul. She might well have done so the first time she’d collided with him, and had felt a spark jolt between them when he’d helped her up. Yet even after spending these lovely days with him since, even after the most intense, most spectacular lovemaking she’d ever experienced in her life, she still wasn’t sure exactly what they were doing together.
Did he truly see her as a summer dalliance, a way of entertaining himself during this break from school, like his kayaking and soccer playing and horseback and mountain bike rides? Was he perhaps subconsciously using her to fill his emptiness at the thought of his daughter and her other family leaving him behind? Did he really like her, with an eye toward a possible future? How was a woman supposed to know what a man was thinking without just coming right out and asking? Or was he counting the days until he could take off for China or North Dakota or some beach somewhere? Their discussion about her father had reminded her of all the reasons she had tried so hard to be careful.
She punched her pillow in frustration. Kinley would probably have no trouble being so bluntly candid; Logan certainly wouldn’t. But she wasn’t sure she was quite as confident as her sister and brother when it came to relationships. Going toe-to-toe with her siblings was very different than setting herself up for heartbreak with a man whose mere touch could make her world spin.