Jacob huffed like he’d been holding his breath for years, and his expression was part wonderment and part gratitude. It was getting easier to say the words, even if Jacob hadn’t said them back, easier to share the truth of what had been in his heart for a long time.
Jenna made a sound like a house creaking, like she’d finally reached her limit of what she could handle. “Jacob. Can we go? You need some rest, and we can talk about this later. Privately. We’ll let Lincoln sleep.”
Like sleep was happening. And he’d been expecting the shut out from her, but it still stung.
“I’m staying here.” Jacob’s chin had that stubborn tilt that drove Linc crazy, but this time he was grateful for it. “We can talk later, like you said. It’s late and we’re all emotional, but I’m staying with Linc.”
“Your mom shouldn’t drive back alone.” Linc appreciated the offer, more than he could easily express, but he also was practical. “And you do need sleep.”
“Not leaving.” Jacob’s fiery eyes dared him and Jenna to disagree. “I love you, Mom. And I’m sorry you were so worried today. But I’m staying.”
“Fine. Have it your way.” Jenna rubbed her face. “I’m too tired to deal with you right now. Very, very tired.”
“Go sleep at Jon’s. Don’t drive back yet.” Jacob’s voice was gentler now.
“Yeah. That’s what I’ll do.” She rolled her shoulders. “And we will talk again.”
Apparently satisfied that she’d had the last word, she left on that note, leaving behind a tension thicker than pea soup fog.
“Hell. That was not how I wanted that to go.” Jacob slumped forward once she was gone. “Although, it could have gone worse. That’s gotta count for something, right?”
“She said she’d think. Maybe all she needs is time.” He wasn’t so sure, but seeing Jacob sad made him want to offer up whatever reassurance he could. “And she does love you. She’s not going to shut you out.”
“Yeah. But if she tries to turn on you, I’m not having that either. You chose me. Least I can do is return the favor.”
“I didn’t choose you,” Linc corrected him.
“What?” Jacob’s eyes narrowed, hurt flashing there. “I thought...”
“It wasn’t ever about choosing you over the family or anyone else. I know you thought it was, and I’m sorry for that. It wasn’t about whether you were enough. You always were. It was about me. I had to choose me, like you said. I had to choose to put myself first. Had to decide that I was enough, not you.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Jacob said thickly, squeezing his arm. “You are. You’re one of the best guys I’ve ever met.”
“Thanks. You thinking that about me...it means a lot. But anyway, I had to decide that me being happy matters. My needs and wants matter too. Not only everyone else’s.”
“Yup.” Jacob nodded vigorously. “And I make you happy? For real? You want me around long-term? Everything that brings with it?”
“Always.” Linc tried to roll toward him and had to wince when his various injuries reminded him where they were and why. “You’ve always made me happy. Took me a long time—maybe too long—to decide I was worth that. That it was okay to let down others if it meant me happy and with someone I care about.”
“You’re not letting anyone down.” Jacob moved to sit on the side of the bed again, tenderly touching Linc’s face. “Quit thinking that way. Anyone who has a problem with you happy or us together can deal.”
“Yeah.” Linc would have to work on believing that one, but he understood what Jacob was saying. “And I’m not asking you to choose me over your family or anyone else. That’s not how this works. Doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can have both.”
“But if they won’t have you—”
“Then we wait them out.” Linc wanted to believe that maybe time would thaw some objections. And if it didn’t, they’d still cope. Together. “I meant what I said. I’m not giving you up.”
“And the other... You meant that too?”
Linc knew what he was asking, knew what he wanted to hear again. Maybe if he said it enough, Jacob would start to believe it. “I love you.”
Jacob’s eyes fluttered shut, almost like he was inhaling the words, absorbing them at some cellular level. Good. Linc didn’t expect him to say them back, not yet. But Jacob believing him would be a good start. And when his lips found Linc’s again, a good start seemed like more than enough for both of them. All they needed was a start.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“I’m not made of kindling,” Linc grumbled as Jacob helped him get settled in the truck. His pinched expression said that his leg was already aching, not that he was about to own up to it, not even after the nurse handed them the discharge paperwork and wheeled away the now-empty chair.