Leah merely nodded.
“Wesley isn’t as nice to me as he used to be,” Kim continued. “Last night he was very rude to me and today he hardly spoke to me at all.”
Leah paused in dressing. “What did you say just before he was rude to you?”
“I was talking about when we get married and I said I was looking forward to it and that I was glad I could wear white. I mean, with his first marriage, you couldn’t—.” She stopped at Leah’s look. “I didn’t mean anything about you, Leah. You can wear white when you marry Justin. No one in Kentucky will know the truth and I’m sure neither Wesley nor I will tell anyone.”
Leah kept her back straight as she started back to the wagons. She completely forgot to ask what rude thing Wesley had replied to Kim’s declarations of her virginity.
Chapter 12
Within the next few weeks they began to approach the new land of Kentucky. Instead of feeling excitement, Leah began to worry about how these new people would react to a divorced woman. When she was in Virginia, she’d wanted to leave behind a decent memory of at least one of the Simmonses. She didn’t want people saying that a gentleman had married her but he’d had sense enough to get rid of her. The new land had seemed far away then.
But now she wished she’d gotten the divorce in Virginia. If she had, she could enter Kentucky as a free woman. Now she’d have to start her life here with an ugliness that would stain her as badly as her family had in Virginia.
As she rode beside Justin, she was silent. He still wanted to marry her even though he knew about her family. But would any man want her after they knew she’d been married and miscarried a child? Kim knew how important her virginity was and she hung onto it at all costs.
Regan and Nicole had said Leah was a lady, but Leah couldn’t believe them. Kim was a lady. Everyone was polite to her. The man who loved her waited on her hand and foot. He treated her with respect, and even after this long trip she still retained her virginity. But with Leah, men were always lusting after her. Kim was right: no lady would roll in the mud with a man. Or throw herself at him and end up pregnant.
“What are you thinking, Leah?” Justin asked from beside her.
“Not thoughts one can share,” she answered.
“I’d hoped you were thinking about your answer to my proposal.”
“I was, in a way. There are some things you need to know about me.”
“I’m not easily shocked. Leah, something is troubling you. Even if you don’t return the love I have for you, I’m still your friend. You can tell me anything.”
She was sil
ent for a moment, wishing she could believe him. But if she told him now he’d never want to see or speak to her again. And she wanted these last few days of pretending that a handsome man wanted to marry her before he learned the truth and came to hate her.
“It isn’t Wesley, is it?” he asked with some hostility in his voice.
She laughed at that. “Wesley Stanford is the last man on earth who might be interested in me. He’s in love with Lady Kimberly and doesn’t know anyone else exists.”
“I wish I were as sure of that as you are.”
Leah didn’t answer him. She felt only her dread of meeting new people and being branded as a brazen woman. She’d seen the way men in Virginia, who knew of her family, treated her. She wondered if she could bear it in Kentucky. Perhaps she should get the divorce from Wesley in his town of Sweetbriar, then leave there as soon as she was free. She just prayed that her reputation wouldn’t follow her.
That night in camp everyone seemed to be subdued. Wesley kept his eyes on his plate of food, and Kim’s eyes were red and swollen. Justin watched Leah while she mechanically went about her chores.
“I’d think you’d all be glad to be near home,” Sadie said with a sigh, “but I’ve been to more cheerful funerals.”
The next day Wesley paid a young man to ride ahead to his farm in Sweetbriar and tell the people that they would be arriving soon. Leah wanted to cry in frustration. Soon he’d have to tell people of their marriage and start divorce proceedings. Leah wondered if Kim would invite her to the wedding so Leah could see Kim’s pure, white, flawless gown.
The wagons rolled closer to the border of Kentucky each day and everyone’s mood seemed to grow more glum. Once, Justin angrily accused Leah of not accepting his proposal because she wanted all the men in the state pursuing her. Leah put her face in her hands and began to cry. Justin didn’t make any more accusations after that.
Twice, Leah heard Wesley tell Kim he was too busy to get her whatever she wanted. Kim retreated to the wagon to sleep. By the time they reached Kentucky she was sleeping twelve hours a night and taking a three-hour nap every afternoon.
And Wesley didn’t speak to anyone. He did his chores, but retreated into himself, seemingly unaware that anyone else was near him.
“That young man is considerin’ somethin’ powerful hard,” Sadie said as she and Hank took their leave. “I’m hopin’ he’s decidin’ which woman he wants.”
Leah just looked at her. “You’re too much of a romantic, Sadie. Wesley has been in love with Kim for years. He’s probably trying to force himself to wait until the wedding.” She couldn’t add that it’d be a long time before their wedding because of the inconvenience of Leah and Wes’s marriage.
Leah hugged all the family good-bye and she was very glad that they’d never know the truth about her. They’d never learn of how she’d flaunted herself at Wes and he’d discarded her.