“I really need to go, so maybe we could discuss this another time. But, yes, you did throw yourself at me once before.”
“Throw myself at you? As I did tonight?”
“Leah,” he began, taking a step toward her, “I think I’ve hurt your feelings.”
“Feelings!” She gasped. “Women like me don’t have feelings. Didn’t you know that? Women from my class of people, women who didn’t grow up wearing silk, are capable only of seductions and enticements. When we get to Kentucky, I won’t open a weaving shop, I’ll…I’ll merely open my legs.”
Wesley’s face hardened. “You’ve misunderstood everything I’ve said. All I wanted was to thank you for the compliment of offering me your body.”
“I won’t do it again,” she said coldly. “Next time I offer it, it will be to someone else.”
“Not while you’re my wife!” he snapped.
She gave him a nasty little smile. “Shouldn’t you go to your Kimberly? If you make her cry too long her pretty eyes will be red. How does she seduce you? Do her tears pull you into her bed?”
“Kimberly is a virgin,” Wes said tightly, his eyes narrowed.
Leah threw up her hands. “A whore and a virgin fighting over you. Poor Wesley, you must spend some sleepless nights. Go to her.”
“Leah, I never said you were a whore,” he began.
“Get out of here!” she screamed.
“If you need me…”
“Need you!” she yelled at him. “You’re the last person I’d ever need. I wish I could go to Kentucky by myself and I’d never have to even see you again. Now go to your dear Kimberly. She needs you.”
Wesley seemed to want to speak, but instead he
turned and left the room.
Immediately Leah fell to her knees, the sobs tearing through her. Need him, he’d said. No, she didn’t need him, but she wanted him, or wanted someone, a man who cared enough to jump when a tear ran down her cheek. A man who had never known her family, who didn’t believe she was a whore before he even saw her.
Sometime during the night Leah removed her dress and slipped on her nightgown. She’d cried all she could cry and all that was left was an empty hollowness, a feeling that life was never going to change. She’d been born in a swamp and she’d always be a part of the swamp. Pretty clothes would never cover the vileness with which she’d been born.
In the morning as Leah lay awake, Wesley slipped into the room; Leah knew he didn’t want anyone thinking he hadn’t spent the night with his wife.
“You’re awake,” he said as the early light illuminated the room. “Leah, about last night—.”
She rolled to the side of the bed, got out, and walked across the room to the small trunk that held her clothes. She felt as if her spirit were dead and she didn’t care about anything. Without a thought she slipped the gown off, careless of her nude form presented to Wesley as she began dressing.
“You never give up, do you?” he exploded angrily.
But Leah didn’t even bother to turn around. When she was dressed, she turned to face him. “I’m ready whenever you are. Your friends won’t know where you slept.”
Frowning, he put his hand on her arm. “Leah, I’ve never meant to hurt you.”
She looked from his hand to his face. “Never touch me again. Do you understand me? Never, ever again do I want you to touch me.” With that she opened the door, waited outside the room for him, and together they walked down the stairs, looking for all the world like a couple who’d just spent the night together.
Leah parted from her sister quietly, and just as quietly she mounted the wagon beside Wes. He reached out his hand to help her, but one look from Leah made him withdraw.
At noon she gathered wood, built a fire, and cooked a hasty meal while Kimberly bathed some of the dirt from her face. Steven conveniently disappeared and Wes was busy with the animals. During the meal Kimberly chatted about the last party they’d attended in Virginia and repeatedly told Leah she should have been there. Leah silenced Kim by saying she had been too pregnant at the time to attend a party.
While Leah cleaned up from the meal, Kim announced that it was time for Leah to ride with Steven and from now on she’d be Wesley’s fiancée and Leah his cousin. She seemed to think there’d be some protest, but there was none.
Leah climbed onto the wagon beside Steven. He made one comment about how he’d be glad to replace Wes if she felt any urges, but when he got no response from Leah, he took the reins and shut up.
At night, while Leah prepared supper, Wes rode to the nearest inn, and when he returned he reported that the place was too filthy to inhabit and they’d camp with the wagons. Kim sniffed about how she needed a bath, so Wes hauled buckets of water, heated them, hung a blanket screen, and prepared a bath for Kim. She conveniently lit a lamp behind the blanket so everyone around was treated to a silhouette of Kim’s languorous bath.