"I am not!" she screamed at him, throwing the clothes on the floor. "I will never, never, never be a Howard. I cannot be a Howard. Howards are my enemy."
Tearle pulled her into his arms. "Sssh, love. Be quiet. There is no reason for this fear you have. Your brother cannot take you from me."
She pushed away from him. "He will fight you. Do you understand nothing? My brothers hate the Howards. Rogan will die trying to kill you. Only if I go with him will he not declare war on you."
He smiled at her. "Then by all means you must go with him. But you will not dress as a boy. Those days are over. You will wear the cloth-of-gold dress. You will let your brother see that you have become a woman."
"I will let my brother see that the Howard money can buy dresses that cost more than the yearly rents of all the Peregrine wealth," she muttered. She was hurt, deeply hurt that he didn't seem to care that they would never be together again. She would go to her brother and her brother… Heavens, but she hated to think of what her brother would do to punish her for what she had done.
"What shall I wear?" Tearle asked.
"What do I care what you wear? I will not be here to see it." I will not be here to see what you wear or do not wear. Now I will never learn to read, she thought. Now I will never have children, or have a husband who holds me and makes me laugh.
"What do you think will impress your brother? Do you think riches impress him, or should I wear a suit of armor? I do not know whether to wear the cloth of silver or the armor. We will look a fine pair with you in gold and me in silver, will we not? But I fear that your brother will want me to prove myself to him, and I think that the silver is too fragile for that. And it is difficult to get blood from it."
She put her hands to the side of her head. "My brother is marching toward us with an army, and you stand there talking of clothes. You have no sense to you. Do you not realize that I will never see you again? That today I must return to my brother?" She was trying not to cry. "I knew that this soft life could not last. I knew that there could be no life such as this for me. I knew that it would end."
At that Tearle took her wrists in his hands. "Look at me and listen to what I have to say. You may think that your brother is the most powerful man in the world, but he is not. For all that you remind me every hour, you seem to forget that I am a Howard. I have men and riches at my disposal that could take your brother and his puny army at any time."
Zared's eyes widened in horror, and she stepped away, but he pulled her back to him.
"I am telling you what I can do, not what I plan. What I plan is to give myself to your brother."
"You cannot," she whispered. "He will kill you."
"Will he? You said that he was a man of honor. Will he kill a man who is not only a cousin by blood but is now a brother by marriage? Will he kill a man who surrenders himself?"
"You cannot give yourself to him. I will go. He wants the return of me. You do not know Rogan. His family is all to him."
He moved his face close to hers. "And you have become all to me. Do you think that I will allow you to go? Do you think that I will let you walk away from me after I have fought so long and hard to get you?"
"I… I do not know. I do not know what to think. My brother will kill you, that is all that I know."
"Your puny brother would have difficulty killing a Howard." He laughed at her look. "That is the woman I know. Now get dressed, or your brother will be here and we shall be wearing nothing. I shall wear the silver. With your brother's temper he might think that a Howard in armor is an invitation to a fight, and I am tired today from a brawl in bed last night with another Peregrine."
"You could not beat my brother Rogan. He is as—"
"Yes, yes, spare me the details of the glories of your brother. Would that some day you would speak of me as other than a weakling who can barely summon the energy to get out of bed in the morning." He turned her around and smacked her bare bottom. "Now get dressed and prepare yourself to greet your brother with all the graciousness of a Howard lady."
Every time he called her a Howard her heart sank a little further. She was hardly aware when he left the room and when Margaret entered and began to help her dress.
It wasn't much later that Tearle came to get her. He was resplendent in cloth of silver that had a blue silk background. It made his dark hair seem darker, and she had never seen a more handsome man in her life.
He smiled at her look. "At last I seem to please you in something that I do." He held out his arm to her. "Shall we go to meet your brother?"
Zared found that she was trembling as they went down the stairs together, and for the first time she looked at the
house not for its beauty but as a place to defend. For defense it was worthless. There were no walls to protect it, no gates to shut against intruders. And the building was not stone but wood. One flaming arrow could set the whole place ablaze. The house no longer seemed so beautiful; it seemed a useless place.
She stopped on the stairs. "Leave now and I will tell my brother that I will go with him if he swears not to harm you."
He kissed her sweetly on the mouth. "No," he said softly. "For all that you seem convinced that I am a coward, I am not."
He put his arm tightly about her waist, and they began walking again. "And for all that you think he is, your brother is not a god on earth. He is merely a man, as we all are. Now do try to look less frightened. Your brother will think that I beat you."
Yes, she thought, she had better keep her chin up. Rogan was terrifying enough. She did not need to give him more reason for his anger than he already had.
When she realized what her husband planned to do she thought she might faint from fear. She thought he meant to meet her brother's army with his own, but instead he walked with her, alone, to the front of the house, to the little courtyard where fragrant flowers grew. They stood there, his arm about her, supporting her, the sun flashing off the brilliant fabric of their clothes.