She glanced at him. “I don’t know. I don’t know what you want.”
He moved to her side, staring out over the small ranch she was intent on making her own. He swallowed back what he wanted to say. She’d bolt like a green bronc if he told her he wanted to be a part of this—all of this. And maybe, just maybe, a part of her life, too.
Hell, realizing that made him want to bolt.
“I want to be a part of Rowdy’s life. Not once a week or on holidays and weekends. I want to see him first thing in the morning on a Monday for no reason. I want to take him to school. I want to help him with homework, watch him grow.” He looked at her then. “I don’t know how you want me to do that. All I know is that’s what I want.”
Poppy looked up at him. “I know Rowdy would like that.”
“What about you, Poppy? Is a quiet family life going to be enough for you?” He turned, leaning against the porch railing. “The girl I knew wanted to rodeo until the day she died. She had big dreams and a plan to make them happen. Nothing and no one was going to stop that. I figured that out real quick.”
Her brow furrowed. “You did? After hounding me for three years? After using every trick in the book to catch my attention and making me feel like a fool over and over again, turning my head one minute only to take some pretty sweet thing home for the night? I don’t know how you turned what
happened between us into something that happened to you.” She pressed her hands flat on the porch railing. “I did have dreams, dreams I fulfilled. But the motivation wasn’t the same. I had nothing and no one to help me with the baby boy placed in my arms the second I rode out of the arena. He replaced every other dream I had. Making sure he has a good, stable life is the best dream I can offer Rowdy.”
Her words rocked Toben to his core. He knew she’d lost her parents, knew the grandparent who raised her had challenged her riding every step of the way, fearing she’d end up like her daddy. It made sense that with Rowdy, giving him love and acceptance was all that mattered to her now.
He respected her all the more for it.
“Let me help. I can’t go back and change things, even if I wish I could. I wasn’t there in the beginning, but I’m here now.” He ran a hand along the back of his neck.
“I... For how long?” she whispered.
He stilled. In the grand scheme of things, it was a fair question.
“Being part of his everyday life isn’t a small thing, Toben. And I never pegged you as a commitment man.” She spoke a little louder now.
“I wasn’t.” Those images of Mitchell with Rowdy and Poppy sprang up again. “Is that why you’re with Mitchell?”
“I never said I was with Mitchell.” She shook her head, leveling a glare his way. “You are incredible! Mitchell is a friend—my best friend, period. Not that my personal life is any of your business—”
“Bullshit.” He raised an eyebrow. “If it affects my son, it’s my business.” But he couldn’t deny how damn happy her words made him.
“You can’t be serious.” Her mouth fell open. Then she laughed. “I don’t have the time or energy to monitor who goes home with you.”
“So you’d be okay with Rowdy knowing about my past?” he asked. And it was his past now—not the distant past, more like two weeks ago. But he didn’t miss it—the women, the hangovers or the inability to fill the ache deep inside.
“I’m not going to lie to him, if that’s what you’re asking. I’ll admit I’m hoping he doesn’t ask.” She stepped closer. “But if you ever, I mean ever, introduce him to one of your saddle tramps, there will be a reckoning.”
Toben smiled down at her. “So you do understand?”
“Mitchell isn’t a one-night stand, Toben. He’s not someone I get fall-down drunk with or make a scene over. He’s a good—”
“Yeah, yeah, he’s a good man. We’ve gone over this before.” Anger warmed him. “I don’t know him. All I know is he sleeps under your roof, throws a mean right hook and feels the need to protect you and Rowdy. From me.” His brows rose. “I’ve seen you two together, Poppy. He might be your best friend but that man wants more.”
Poppy’s eyes narrowed, her lips pressed tight.
He reached down, cupping her cheek in his palm and running his thumb across her lower lip. He sucked in a breath, watching his thumb, savoring the soft skin against his calluses. “He might be a good man, but he doesn’t set you on fire the way you should be.” His gaze locked with hers. “A woman as hungry as you are should find a man that can keep her satisfied.” Her lips parted as she swayed, ever so slightly, into him.
He couldn’t do it. He wanted to, so bad it hurt not to pull her close and show her just how much he wanted her. But her words had stirred up too many doubts. There wasn’t room for doubts, not now. For Rowdy’s sake.
“I’ll go take that shower now.” His voice was gruff. “Thanks for the offer of a bed.”
Even after he’d showered and he lay in Poppy’s guest bed surrounded by moving boxes, he could still feel her lip against his thumb.
Chapter Eight
Poppy tossed and turned, punching her pillow into submission and fighting with her blankets until she gave up. It didn’t matter that it was three in the morning—she was done pretending to sleep. If Toben Boone was trying to drive her to distraction, he was doing a damn fine job. His touch had thrilled her, sending her into a state of anticipation. His thumb had seemed to have a direct line to every nerve ending in her body. When he’d stroked her lip...