I felt his eyes on my face and stretched to kiss him as my chest tightened. He moved us, our rhythm sweet and slow. I loved him back, kissing him on his collarbone, neck, cheek, and lips.
“I love you, Claire,” he whispered along my neck, his lips dropping sweet feather-light kisses on my shoulder.
His hands traveled over my stomach, one lifting my hips, the other tangling in my hair as he kissed my mouth tenderly. I knew I couldn’t stop myself as my climax hit me fast and hard. I grabbed his hair and pulled his mouth to mine. My cries were caught in our kiss, my body shuddering around his. He buried his face in his pillow, his groaned release muffled. He held me, pulling me onto his chest as we lay back on his bed, his arms tight around me.
My head lay against his chest as my breathing returned to normal. I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of his heart beating, wishing I could stay here, like this.
I felt fiercely alone, even tangled up with him as I was. I shouldn’t feel such panic, and yet it was there and I wasn’t sure what to do. I felt fear, not for me but for the kids, protecting this, and Josh.
Daniel didn’t make idle threats.
I tried to put together an option that might make sense, to keep Josh and the kids safely out of harm’s way for the time being. “Josh, can I ask you something?”
“Anything.” His voice was a whisper as I stared up at him.
I paused. “Why are you coming with me?”
His brow furrowed then, his hands going still against my back. “To be with you.”
“If I told you that I need time to sort a few things out, would you give it to me?” My eyes were locked with his. I needed to see my lawyer, to see what I needed to do to pursue full custody, to remove the constant fear and uncertainty that Daniel incited.
If Josh was in LA, he was safe. If I sent the kids and Mom to Joe’s, away from Daniel, they’d be safe. And I’d feel better about everything. And it would be a temporary arrangement. Just until I could make certain I could protect them. That everything was legal and done. That was what I needed to do.
He frowned and took a deep breath. His hands seemed to tighten against me momentarily. “If that’s what you really want, I’d give it to you.” His face was tight but his hands were soft on my skin.
I blinked, keeping my eyes closed for a minute as I steadied my breath. “I think it might be best if you go on to LA. I need time to work through this. To fix this situation with Daniel. And I can’t do it while I’m worrying about all of you.”
His face fell. “Claire—”
“Josh, please.” I tried to meet his eyes but knew I’d start crying.
He was staring at me, watching me closely. “What’s happened?” His hands tried to catch my face, but I stubbornly tucked my chin and stared at his chest.
“Nothing. Nothing really.”
His finger tilted my head back. “Then why won’t you look at me?”
I took another deep breath and met his eyes. I didn’t know how long I might be able to keep control, but the warmth and concern that radiated from his hazel gaze was almost my undoing.
“Let me in, Claire.” His face was open. Hurt.
My brow crumpled and I bit my lip to prevent the telltale trembling that I knew would soon set in. “I can’t, Josh.”
He shook his head, desperation coloring his voice. “What is it that you think I can’t handle?”
I smiled a bit, shaking my head in protest. “It’s not that you can’t handle it. You shouldn’t have to.”
> His eyes were fiery. “You shouldn’t make decisions for me.”
I tried to slip from his side, but his legs slid up, effectively holding me in his lap. I stared at him, quirking an angry eyebrow.
He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re not going to distract me with your faces, you know.”
I cocked my head to one side. “It’s something I need to take care of—”
He cut me off, his eyes narrowed. “We agreed to share everything, remember?”
“Josh, you’re intentionally misunderstanding.”