I peered around with interest at the whitewashed walls and weathered wooden floors. A hall tree and boot rack lined one wall of the entry hall, a staircase on the other. There were two doors off the wide entry hall leading into the study, the living room, and another opening onto the hall leading to the kitchen. The smell of wood polish and aged leather scented the air.
Josh showed me each room, pulling off white cover sheets as he went. “Sitting room here, and that’s the family room, with the piano.” Both rooms were large and bright, sparse in decorations, but abundant in seating.
The kitchen was wonderfully cozy, very obviously the heart of the house. Several chipped blue and white earthenware bowls and canisters sat on the counter for decoration. A huge wooden kitchen table occupied most of the room, surrounded by mismatched chairs. Two large windows covered the rear wall, each made up of numerous diamond-shaped glass panes.
“What’s the view like?” I asked him, aware that he was watching my reaction.
“Green. There’s a small pond, too.” He pulled me along as he spoke. “There’s a washroom here.” He showed me the bathroom at the back of the kitchen, leading onto a small room with more hooks and a washer and dryer. “Mud room.” He led me back into the foyer and up the stairs. “Three tiny bedrooms up, the original washroom, and another one Mum added in the master suite downstairs.”
“It seems awfully large for a cottage.”
He shrugged and pulled me up the stairs behind him. We peeked into each room, all compact-sized white rooms with two single beds, one dresser, a closet and large window seats with storage cabinets, leaving very little room to move about.
He led me back downstairs and to the far end of the hall. “And this one would be yours. Or your mom’s.”
The last room was larger. There was a huge four-poster bed, large dresser, chaise, roll top writing desk and rocking chair. A wide wooden door opened into a full bath and a cavernous closet.
“It’s a wonderful house.” It was. I felt unexpectedly comfortable here.
“You’re welcome to it, for as long as you want or need a place to stay. I know it’s a bit tight for all of you.” His hand squeezed mine. “Some of the very best memories of my childhood happened here. It’s nice to think of Will hunting dragons in the garden. Admittedly, Natalie might need some updates. I doubt there’s Internet.” He shook his head. “But I’m certain that we could have that arranged, if you decide to stay.”
“Thank you.” I ran my hand along the quilt covering the bed. It was a fantastic house, a place to call home. But I’d never be able to think of it as home without him being a part of it too. And that was a step we weren’t ready for.
Were we? I swallowed against the hope and longing that gripped me.
I smiled, turning suspiciously moist eyes away from him. “It’s a very kind offer…”
“I’ll be useless if you cry, Claire.” He pulled me into his arms as he spoke, his voice more pleading than stern. He rubbed his hands up and down my back, breathing against my hair. I felt myself relaxing, wrapping my arms around him. He spoke softly. “Shannon told me she’d offered you her house. It would be a better fit for you, I suppose.”
I nodded against his chest. “I can’t afford it. Not really. But you’re right. It’s a great house.” I paused, then added, “You should buy it. That makes more sense. As your stateside command central or something.”
“I’d rather you were there. I’m sure Shannon would let you live there without rent until you were able.”
I looked up at him, smiling. “I don’t feel comfortable living off someone’s charity.”
His hand pushed the hair from my shoulders, his brow furrowing. “Is that a nice way of saying you’re not going to take my father’s offer either?”
“I can’t rely so heavily on others. I can’t be needy anymore. I need to take care of us on my own.”
His smile was half-hearted, subdued. “It’s a very human quality, to be needed—to have needs.” His hand was soft against my cheek, his thumb tracing a warm, tingling path over my jaw line.
“Feeling needy has been a sign of weakness for so long.” I shook my head, knowing that wasn’t quite right. “I can’t feel that vulnerable.”
“It is part of life, though, part of relationships. Isn’t it?” He was considering his words very carefully. “You need your family, for example.”
I nodded.
“No one else?” His eyes closed for a minute and he paused. “Give me a minute.” I watched him as he contemplated what he wanted to say. “I haven’t stopped looking for you since the moment I met you. The first time you laughed at me on that bloody red carpet, your brilliant blue eyes peeking at me over your hand…I was done for.” His face softened as he looked at me, his voice tender. “I cannot think of my life, of what comes next, without you being a part of it. I need you.” He was so sincere.
“It’s happening so fast,” I murmured, but I knew what he meant. How many times since that first night in LA had I stopped myself from lingering on him?
“And everything has changed. If I were to buy Shannon’s house it would be our place to stay when we are in LA. The house we viewed today would be ours when we’re here. The cottage is lovely for getaways, though I can’t imagine living here day-in and day-out, really. I want to be with you. And, if you’ll let me, be a part of Natalie and Will’s life, too. I want to be part of your life, your family. Part of you.”
I’d stopped breathing, my eyes wide as I let his words sink in. “How can you be so sure?”
“There’s nothing to doubt.” In his eyes, I saw the absolute truth of his words, the absolute promise he was giving me. He held me in his arms loosely, and I leaned my head against him, overwhelmed.
I knew I was losing my internal argument, but I had to convince him that he was wrong, show him that this didn’t make any sense, not really. “I’m seven years older than you,” I whispered against him.