“Come on. Demetra insists we have an early supper since neither of us did justice to the lunch she so lovingly put together this afternoon.”
Recalling the emotional rollercoaster the picnic had turned into and the passionate lovemaking that had preceded and ended it, she blushed. “Was she very upset?”
“No. I told her other things came up, so we didn’t have the appetite for food.”
She felt her color deepen. “Other things? But she’s going to think—”
“And she’d be right. Other things did come up, so to speak.”
“You’re incorrigible!”
“That’s the second time you’ve said that today. And this time you’re not going to get away with it,” he said before hauling her to him. He sealed her lips with his.
She wasn’t sure how long they were lost in the kiss, but at the sound of Demetra’s delicate cough, she sprang away. Or tried to, anyway. Nick took his time releasing her. He spoke to Demetra, then took Belle’s arm and led her to the dining room.
Suddenly ravenous, she wolfed down a bowl of creamy mushroom soup, followed by a leg of lamb served with dauphinoise potatoes and roasted zucchinis. She earned herself a beaming smile of approval from Demetra when she came to clear the plates. The older woman then served delicate pastries with delicious yogurt.
They’d almost finished their meal when one of the maids came to inform Nick he had a phone call.
Beside her, he tensed.
“Is something wrong?” she asked again, realizing she’d asked that question more times today than she had throughout their marriage.
He laid a hand over hers as he stood. “No. I’ve been expecting a call from Allen. I won’t be long. Are you staying downstairs?” he asked, a slight frown on his face.
“I suppose so—maybe I’ll read in the living room. Why?”
“I’d rather you didn’t make yourself a visible target by going outside. Stay inside, okay?”
She nodded, her stomach churning at the reminder that danger still lurked. Pushing away her plate, she picked up her wineglass and made her way to the living room. As they’d done with alarming frequency today, her fingers toyed her rings, almost of their own volition.
Nick had warned her that nothing but a yes would do. She was almost certain that was the answer she’d give. Because now when she brought the rings out to re-examine in detail, she admitted when it came to her feelings for Nick, nothing had changed.
She loved him as deeply and intensely as the day she’d promised to be his wife.
But could she live with knowing Nick might never love her in return? With knowing she might never bear his child? Would her solitary love be strong enough to sustain her through a childless marriage?
She started in surprise when the pain she’d prepared herself for rose on cue, but it wasn’t as debilitating as she’d expected. Yes, she still wanted a child with every fiber of her being. But she loved Nick more than she did the promise of a child. She just hadn’t realized it six months ago. Given time, would the hollowed emptiness of unfulfilled motherhood pass completely, or would it re-emerge at some point in the future like a specter that wouldn’t go away?
Still battling her thoughts, she placed her unfinished wine on the table and padded onto the enclosed terrace, glancing out the window. Off the coast, a small dot of light from a passing boat winked.
She stared into the reflective water of the swimming pool.
The question really was, although her experiences in the last several months had now given her the courage to walk away, did she have the courage to stay and fight for Nick’s love? Could she gamble on the uncertainty that he may—or may not—grow to love her the way she loved him, and to be able to say as much? She took a deep, sustaining breath and let it out, knowing there was only one answer.
She loved Nick. Walking away again wasn’t an option. She was strong enough to fight for what she wanted—equality in their marriage and a right to his love.
Now that she knew why Nick was afraid to be a father, her turmoil had been eased somewhat. He’d been hurt badly by his parents’ treatment of him, but Belle firmly believed that they could work through his misgivings, given time. A Marine who risked his life to save children wasn’t a lost cause. With time, he might open up even more and come around to the idea. And if he didn’t—
She sucked in a breath. If he didn’t, they would deal with that, too.
Completely at peace with her decision, she started to turn away from the window. A glance at the sea showed that the light of the boat was much closer.
A fist of fear clutched her heart before she dispelled it. No, Mwana wasn’t foolish enough to risk a second attack.
Nevertheless, they had a real threat to deal with before she and Nick could find their way fully back to each other. As she watched, the light on the boat winked out, and the sound of the motor receded until she could only hear the soothing sound of waves.
Relief pounded through her. She picked up her glass and swallowed the rest of her wine. After steadying he