??
“Unless?”
“Unless we deal with a few things. Find a middle ground we can both be satisfied with.”
But she didn’t doubt they had a monumental battle ahead of them. Nick’s need for control was ingrained. In bed and out of it, he liked to be in charge. Convincing him to relinquish some of that control…well, she really didn’t know where to start. But for the sake of her sanity, they had to try.
Her fingers tightened around the bands in her hand. “Just because we slept together doesn’t mean anything’s changed since last night.”
“Oh, I think we did a lot more than sleep last night, glikia mou.” She couldn’t decipher his expression with the sun behind him, but the hard bite accompanying his words told her she probably shouldn’t take his calling her his sweetheart as a term of endearment.
She stood her ground, determined not to be cowed by the menacing vibes now emanating from him. “Yes, I am fully aware of what we did, Nick. And while the sex was gr—” she faltered as his head reared back and he inhaled sharply.
“Sex? You call what happened between us last night just sex?” The note of incredulity in his voice shocked her.
“Well, what would you call it? Lovemaking? How can you call it lovemaking when there was no love involved?” She saw his jaw tense again, but he remained silent, confirming her belief. Pain ripped through her at the chronic absence of that one important word in their relationship, but she ploughed on.
“Anyway, we’re not here to discuss last night. We’re here to discuss this.” She opened her hand to reveal the rings. “And why I took them off in the first place.”
“Yes, Tinkerbelle, let’s discuss exactly why it is you left, shall we?”
She pursed her lips at his use of her full name, even whilst a small part of her unwillingly admitted he’d been right yesterday at the pool when he said she liked it when he called her Tinkerbelle. She was sure the sexy huskiness of his voice, the way he seemed to caress the word, had a lot to do with why she allowed him to call her by her much-loathed name when everyone else was forbidden to use it.
She shook her head to dispel the unwanted thoughts. “You know why I left. Aside from the control issues, I want children. Or at the very least a child.”
He paled, his gray eyes darkening to slate. “I can’t give you a child, Tinkerbelle. I’m not equipped for fatherhood.”
Belle was glad his desk was nearby, because when she swayed, she was grateful for its solid strength. “You can’t father a child?” she whispered, stunned.
“No, there’s nothing wrong with the equipment. Not as far as I’m aware, anyway.”
“Then what is it?” she recovered enough to ask.
He was silent for so long she thought he wouldn’t answer. Then he sighed. “I’ve never thought of myself as part of a demographic, but to put it simply, my childhood was a hot mess. I can think up a bunch of technical terms a psychologist would use, and they would be right. I can’t bring that baggage into any child’s life. Trust me, you wouldn’t want me to.”
“Why won’t you tell me what happened to you?” she asked softly. “I ask you, and you always shut me down.”
She knew his mother lived in the States, had left him with his father when he was a boy. Beyond that, she knew next to nothing about the woman who’d given Nick life.
His shoved his fists into his pockets, and he rocked on the balls of his feet. “Because I despise talking about it.” Then he sighed, but even though he cast her an exasperated look, she glimpsed the hint of vulnerability in his eyes. This wasn’t a subject her powerful husband was comfortable with. That was very clear. But he’d shut her out for too long. And she’d let him. No more.
“Tell me anyway. Please.”
“You want the sordid details? I was used as the ultimate pawn between my parents. And when my mother grew bored of the game, she left, and I was shipped off to boarding school.”
Her heart cracked open with pain for him. “Oh, Nick.”
A mirthless smile crossed his lips. “I’m not telling you this so you feel sorry for me. I’m just telling you that the reality of being an Andreakos is not one I’d wish for any child.”
“What happened to you was horrible, but we can work through it—” She stopped when he started to shake his head.
“No, we can’t. Look at what happened to you. You were targeted for abduction primarily because of your connection to me. Think how vulnerable any child we have would be.”
“We can’t live our lives like that, Nick. That’s an awful way to view life.”
“Unfortunately, we’ve both experienced the atrocities human beings are capable of—me through war and you through being kidnapped.”
“Yet I still want a baby, more than ever, because I refuse to let one traumatic event define my life. And you aren’t your parents, Nick. Even with our marriage issues, I know you would never be like them.”