“I told him no.”
“Would you mind if I took the acting gig?” she said. “Because I could be the perfect fake girlfriend. I even have this black, glittery number he would love. It’s a little black dress and it shows off my cleavage.”
“Amanda!”
“Just kidding! Okay, maybe not. Listen, if you could just drop a line in for me. I could be the perfect fake girlfriend! I mean, the guy’s loaded. Why the hell didn’t you say yes?”
“Because I’m bummed. I kept thinking about the guy from the coffee shop all day. And yeah, I did blow it when I first met him, but I still thought about him, kind of hoping for a second chance.”
“You had your second chance! And you kicked him in the nuts.”
“Let’s backtrack before that moment, shall we? So I kept thinking about this guy from the coffee shop, and then I learn his true identity. He’s a flippin’ playboy billionaire with a bad reputation. And then I meet him in person, and we dance. And even though I can’t dance, it’s the best dance I’ve ever had. And I’m thinking, maybe everyone is mistaken about this guy. And then, he’s this wonderful man who sweeps me off my feet. And what does he do? He propositions me.”
“But not for sex. For fake sex. But you never gave him the chance to explain.”
“Fake sex? Okay, that makes no sense whatsoever.”
“He wasn’t trying to pay you to have sex. He was offering you a job to be his fake girlfriend. And you’re the one who started all that ‘fake girlfriend’ shit in the first place.”
“I didn’t want to be offered an acting gig at all. I wanted him to ask me out on a date.”
“Ah, so that’s what this is all about. And that’s why you’re not taking his offer. So let me do it. I’ll even give you a cut. Because this man can pay our rent for an entire year. And I didn’t tell you, but my parents cut me off last month.”
“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s time for me to spread my wings and make my own way. But we can really use this money. If you don’t want to do it, then let me! I’ll use every dime he gives me for rent. It’ll benefit us both.”
“What about Barry?”
“Fake is the key word here. It’s a ‘fake’ relationship. It’s acting! I can do that. I’m a fantastic actress.”
I blew out a long breath. “You should’ve told me your parents quit giving you money.”
“I didn’t want pity. Don’t worry. It’s all good.”
A woman called out my name from the doorway. “Rebecca White.”
“Okay, they just called my name,” I said. “Wish me luck. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Good luck!”
***
“And wherever doth he roam, I bid him good morrow and a swift night.”
And a swift night? What did that even mean? Where the hell did they come up with these lines? Maybe if I amped up the accent a little—
“Thank you, Miss White.” A disembodied voice dismissed my efforts as the lights flickered back on. “Next!”
I slipped on my sunglasses and thanked them as I headed back out onto the streets, scanning for a coffee shop as stanzas of bastardized Shakespeare ran through my head. When I’d read they were looking for an Old English theater nut, I’d assumed that meant the role I’d be auditioning for was a fan. Not that the entire film was a period piece set in 1640 Sussex.
Oh well, another one bites the dust.
I ducked into a café, purchased my usual mocha-chino, and was back at my apartment ten minutes later. Amanda was out with Barry, and by some miracle, I hadn’t run into Hamburg on my way in here. Nope—it was just me and Deevus. Like usual.
With a wide yawn, I dropped my purse on the ground and dialed up my mom for our bi-weekly pep talk about my life. As usual, she was busy—oh so very busy—what with her yoga class, her spinning class, her Flemish class (yes, Flemish), and the usual work to be done in the garden. But she still had a few minutes to squeeze in a talk with me.
I rolled my eyes and grinned as she recited one of her usual lectures. If I were to miss just one of these calls, she’d call the National Guard.