“Wait, what? He stayed the night?”
“Yeah, it wasn’t planned.
We fell asleep is all.”
“Right. Because being comfortable enough to sleep beside a near stranger you hooked up with is so common? Trust me, it’s not. I can’t even sleep if someone else is breathing too loud in the next room. That’s why no roommate, see.”
“His breathing didn’t bother me. I was all margarita-d and orgasmed out. I fell asleep. He fell asleep. I woke up in a panic and had to get him out of there.”
“Was he so repulsive?”
“No. I didn’t want to miss work.”
“Really?”
“If I’d let him stay sprawled out on my sheets one more minute I would’ve been on top of him. Again,” she sighed, puffing out her bangs when she exhaled.
“Oh, honey, if he’s that great, see him again.”
“No way. I just got out of a relationship last night. I need time to heal and have closure.”
“Closure’s overrated. Get laid instead.”
“I appreciate the support, but I don’t have any wild oats to sow. You’re thinking like you, not like me. I need stability and calm and a standing date to work events.”
“Speaking of work events, have you thrown in on the going away gift for the bastard boss?”
“Not yet.”
“Ten bucks.”
“If I put in twenty will he leave now?”
“Nope. No guarantees. We’re getting him a cake and some cuff links.”
“Sounds more than fair since he’s such a jerk.”
“Did you get the email yet?”
“Which one?”
“The one the boss sent out about his party.”
“I didn’t open it. I figured it was just a thank-you.”
“Nope. He thought it would be fun if we put on skits and musical numbers for him.”
“I assume he expects us to strip? I think not. He’s damn lucky to get a cake.”
“Agreed. Nobody in my department wanted to do skits either. Except for Luke and the one he suggested was about group therapy for assholes so I doubt it would be well received.”
“Not true. I’d like it.”
“So would I but we heard the new boss is coming by so we don’t want to skewer the old one too much in front of him.”
“I’m not looking forward to meeting him.”
“I thought you researched him.”