“Propose what you feel is an appropriate punishment, Stone, all things considered.”
“He doesn’t deserve to go to jail, Dierdre.”
“Doesn’t he?”
“Let me explain something else: I’ve been retained by a branch of the federal government that I cannot name. He was doing their bidding at the time he was arrested.”
Dierdre clapped a hand to her breast. “Oh, God, he was drunk and violent for the CIA, is that what you’re telling me? I gotta admit, I’ve never heard that one before, though it’s right up there with the dog ate his driver’s license.”
“Shhhh,” Stone said, making tamping motions with his hands. “I didn’t say that, and you mustn’t repeat it.”
“Is that your way of saying he actually was working for the CIA?”
“I can’t go there,” Stone said, pleading in his voice. “Please believe me when I tell you
.”
“All right, Stone,” she said. “Since it’s you, and you’re a pretty good lay when no one is watching, here’s my best offer: thirty days at Rikers, a thousand-dollar fine, and his license in my desk drawer for three years.”
Stone slumped. Herbie wasn’t going to like this. “I’ll take it to my client,” he said.
“Don’t sound so down, Stone. You did pretty well for the guy, considering.”
Stone didn’t ask, Considering what? He said his goodbyes and left.
“Don’t be a stranger!” Dierdre called after him down the hallway.
“Thanks, Maria,” Stone said as he passed the front desk.
“Did I mention that the cop was Dierdre’s baby brother, Colin?” Maria asked.
“No, Maria, you didn’t mention that.” Stone got out the door as quickly as he could.
10
STONE WENT DOWN to the hallway outside the courtroom and was mildly surprised to find Herbie Fisher, dressed in a sober blue suit and tie, waiting for him, and on time, too.
“Hey, Stone,” Herbie said. “How’s it hanging?”
“You’re the one who’s hanging,” Stone said. “You’re in a lot of trouble.”
“Stone, it was only a DUI, that’s all.”
“It was your second DUI, and you haven’t bothered to do your penance for the first one, which was less than a month ago.”
“Well, hell . . .”
“Let me tell you a few other things that you ought to know,” Stone said. “The cop who received your kick in the crotch was the younger brother of the lady DA who’s prosecuting your case, and the judge who’s hearing it has a wife who was hurt in an accident caused by a DUI. He loves stringing them up by their thumbs.”
Herbie seemed to pale a little. “Can’t we get the DA and the judge, whatchacallit, excused? I mean, they’re both prejudiced against me.”
“Recused. It’s not going to happen because I’ve already gotten you the best possible deal.”
Herbie blew out a sigh of relief. “I knew you’d come through for me, Stone. Lance said you’d make it go away.”
“I didn’t say it was going away. I said I got you the best possible deal.”
Herbie looked worried. “What kind of a deal?”